Our journey fostering and adopting children and living for Jesus most of all!!
Monday, September 12, 2016
Finally -- You are Safe and Loved!!!
I don't get it! What would make a parent do the unthinkable to a child. We have two little twins in our home ( 5 years old) that the unthinkable has been done to them. I can't give details but lets just say they have been severely abused. One has visible scars on her so there is no getting away from it. She will be asked questions her whole life what happened to her. The boy has scars too but they are covered easily but most are inside. Both scars are just as bad and will need many years of therapy to get past it. My children are just a few but so many children are hurting or being hurt. What gives the parent the right to do this!!
Then I ask myself what would make a foster parent do the unthinkable to a child? Domestic abuse, Favorites, Picking one and moving the other out of her home, bulling, one of them not standing a chance with an adult, and the list goes on. The foster parent is the one who signed up for this job. The child or children just escaped from one trauma and fear and entered into another fear and the trauma doesn't end. More scares. The internal dialog that these kids have with themselves when the lights go out -- it must be so tragic!! No wonder why the respect for adults doesn't exist.
I just want to gather all of them, close to me, to protect them from who ever is doing the hurting! STOP!! These are children of the King!! They were created by Him! I bet the Lord is hurting so much more just watching this from Heaven.
Then these children to came to my home. I could tell deep within them they were afraid, numb, unemotional, disconnected and worried. I don't blame them. Who wouldn't! The papers on them looked daunting. In many ways I wish they didn't come with papers so they had a fresh start but then again you need to be cautious. I was afraid for my animals and my kids in my home. I wasn't even sure if I could do this placement. I tried my best to make them feel loved and wanted but at the same time watching everything. I put them in their own bedrooms to sleep until I got to know them and their behaviors. Some of their behaviors on paper were so unbelievable I could hardly imagine it taking place. After a few weeks and the moment was there I very gently asked them about their behaviors (individually) and they did admit that they did do that stuff. I explained to them that they were not in trouble and we were just talking so I didn't want them to feel bad about anything. Im sure they got enough punishment where they came from. After our talk was over off they go to run and play and be silly. I just sat there in disbelief. This goes to show me that when kids are not getting their basic needs met -- kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unlovable ways.
Today marks 1 month with these children. I can say to you that I love these kids so much!! I can't imagine them not being here! My husband and I agree that if we can adopt them we will. Its time they exit out of the foster care system. But we need your prayers!This little sibling group has 6 kidos. Actually 8 but DHS believes that all 6 children need to be adopted together. Even though the thought of this sounds right for this group of siblings it is not the best thing. They do not have a sibling bond not even the twins that I have. It is something we are working on daily. All of the kids are split up in two's in good homes that love them and want to adopt them. All these kids are going to need so much therapy for years to come to just be able to get past what has been done to them. There is no way that if someone was to take all 6 children they would get the individual therapy they need. All the foster kids are here in the same area and we bring the kids together once a week. Now that school is starting we are going to have to get creative. But as foster parents of all these kids we know the importance of bringing these kidos together. So please pray for us!!!!
By the way these kids are doing great!! They play all day long. They have big belly laughs that would melt your heart in a million pieces!!! Yes -- there have issues but we are working through that. I love them and as long as God will give me the pleasure to have them they are not going ANYWHERE!!!
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Little House on the Prairie -- Medicine for my Home!
Today marks one month since we have had the twin. Thank you everyone who has lifted us up prayer. We can feel them! Let me tell you about a tool that I always introduce my foster children to. I thank the Lord that he made it possible to use something I love so much to help the little ones I fall in love with too.
Your going to think I'm crazy but one thing I usually do when we get foster children in my home is I start the series of Little House on the Prairie. I know many are burnt out of that show but for me as I watch these children -- you learn so much about them as to how they react to the show. All the kids usually come from some kind of neglect or/abuse.
Watching Ma and Pa care for Mary, Laura and Carrie is priceless. They see how gentle Pa is with Ma. All they have witnessed is dads abusing moms. How Pa is with his children. All they have seen is dads yell at the kids, smoking and drinking, swearing, etc. How sweet Ma is to Pa. All they have witnessed is how bad mom treats dad! Then you have children and how Mary, Laura and Carrie love each other and look out for one another. All they have seen is fighting. It shows them how families can live all together with out violence.
As the shows go on you can see how they have compassion for things, and they get emotional sometimes over things that may happen in the movie. Almost every time I at least hear one or two of them say "I love Pa"! I know Im a sap and my older kids probably are rolling their eyes at this point. Thats okay!!!
All the kids LOVE this series. Every day they ask "After dinner can we watch Little House?"
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