Adoption: Our next steps -- Prayers needed please!!

We have been getting several calls of kids needing homes.  It literally breaks my heart of the turmoil that some kids have to live under because of the parents actions.  They are just passengers in these families with no choices and completely dependent on these unstable parents.  I find myself guarding my ears on what I am about to hear or read.  Sometimes it is just too much.

Over Christmas break we got a call regarding a 15 year old boy.  This incident happened on Christmas day. The dad had stabbed the mother and she was in critical condition in the hospital.  There were 4 siblings.  3 of them found homes however because the boy was 15 nobody wanted him.  We said "yes" only to get a call later saying that the grandparents were being certified and he will be placed with them. To be honest I was reluctant to accept because I have two 15 year old girls.  My first priority is their safety.  The Lord answered this prayer by keeping him with family.  

Now we are in the process of deciding about another sibling group.  The boy is 15 and the girl is 9.  They have been legally free for 3 years and have been in and out of foster care since the age of 3 and still in foster care.  They are separated and desperately wanting to be together.  I have a million and one questions regarding this case.  The boys CANS assessments are rated a 1 and the girls CANS are rated a 2.  I have tons of questions about that also.  We need prayer.  To think that I would close the door on my 15 year old who her CANS were rated a 1 gives me chills.  By not taking her I do believe our family would have missed out on a gem.

I am part of an adoption support group and they had some excellent suggestions regarding how to hand this.  They suggested after asking all the question possibly doing a couple of respite weekends to get to know them.  This way there is no commitment and we would have a good idea of what kind of children we are dealing with.

* I just got off the phone with the case worker about these children.  They sound like hurting, desperate children but they don’t even realize it.  Much to pray about.

Allegations!! Oh My!!!!

It has been  6 days since my little guys left.  Our home feels quiet like there is something missing.  I am so happy they could be with family.  This is where they need to be but I miss them at the same time.

Today marks a day that I never thought would come.  I got a phone call from our certifier.  She said that there was an allegation that was said about me.  She said that it has been reported that I open hand slapped Little D (4 years old) a couple of times and several times I did this to Little K (3 years old).  This took my breath away and put my stomach on edge a little bit.  My heart dropped and I felt so hurt!! They saw these children everyday  -- wouldn't there be marks if this happened?  If your gonna say something tell them I chased you around the house trying to steal kisses when I know you hate them!! ABUSE!!! It took me a while to snap out of my own worry and hurt feelings but we are dealing with 3 and 4 year olds.  I think kids need to show their loyalty to the parents by speaking negative things about who ever they are with making their parents out to be the best however they do not know the consequences this has for me. As for me -- We are fine. I told my other kids about it and they had the same reaction as I did.   Our certifier has to ask us questions when allegations are made.  She just can't ignore these statements -- which I understand.  She said this is not going to be an issue and not to worry.  So I am going to do just that -- I am going to trust in the Lord about this. (Prov 3:5-6)

The grandmother wanted me to be my friend on Facebook however since this was just brought to my attention today I don't think I will do this.  I did send a private message to her letting her know that I know about the allegations and for her peace of mind -- I did nothing but love on those two boys while they were with me.  I did tell her that I am not angry but missing those boys and hope all is well.

Scary stuff!!

Our Final Days with Little D and Little K

Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!! The feeling I have right now is beyond any comprehension. First of all my two little precious boys were able to go to church with us one last time. Little D (4 years old) told his grandparents and his mom that they need to know more about Jesus! They don't know a lot about him so they have to go to church and learn more about the Lord! Out of the mouth of babes right? You tell em' Little D!!! The grandparents decided not to go however the mom did!! When I sit back and think about tonight I get goose bumps! When I found out they were going to go I prayed about tonight's message. Guess what... God delivered again! The message was about staying away from sin, how our sin effects our children, saying no to the world! Did our pastor know I had a convicted felon sitting beside me??? I praise the Lord for the seeds that were planted. I know she was listening. I couldn't help but watch from the corner of my eye at her responses to what our pastor was saying. Tonight when we got home I allowed the mom to put the boys in their bed. She got them dressed, tucked them in and then they insisted she prayed with them. She prayed with them what seemed like forever! She finally left the house and I sat there in amazement. I do pray for this little family! Lord keep them and protect them and may their faith grow strong. I know You have Little D's heart!! There are so many parents who are led to the Lord by their little children going to church. I pray this is one of them. Lord you are AMAZING!!! What a journey YOU have us on!

Notice of Departure -- They Will Be Leaving Tomorrow

Okay so I have a million praise reports to give!! i can't write them all down but I will share a few! I want to thank everyone who has reached out to my family to help my little guys settle in. Because of so many of you they have had a great experience here even though it was hard on them being away from every familiar face they have known. So thank you thank you thank you!!! Also while they have been here they have gone to church and have accepted Jesus in their heart!! They pray before every meal and before they go to bed each night. The 4 year old constantly asks me about Jesus and also tells me about BIG God is!!! He says "Did you know God is so big he just thinks of something on BAM!!! its created!! God thought of a tree and BAM! there was a tree!" He says it with such amazement and excitement that it makes me wonder why aren't we like this little one full of excitement and awe about what our God can do and does for us on a daily basis! What happened to us? Anyway - My little guys will be back with their family either today or tomorrow. I will be sad but also over joyed because I know their grandparents LOVE them and they are safe with them. Prayer request please!!! The grandparents and mom and my two little guys will be at church tonight!!!!! They have never gone before!!! They can see Little D's enthusiasm over going to church. They want to see what he is so excited for. Our GOD is BIG guys!!!!!


30 days later after they came to our home................

Just got the official word that my boys will be leaving tomorrow morning after the court hearing. They will be headed back to Florida to be with the their grandparents. I decided to stay home tomorrow with the boys instead of going to the court hearing. Maybe I can get in a few snuggles and sneak a few kisses (they don't like kisses) before they go. Little D and Little K -- I will never ever forget you! You have made an inprint in my soul. One day we WILL see each other again. Here, there or in the air! I love you!!!!

The Two New Additions To Our Big Family

The day our adoption was final we got a call from DHS asking us if we would be interested in two little boys ages 3 and 4.  They were having trouble placing them.  The call that came in described the boys has aggressive, abused animals, beat up on each other and others, extremely active and a bunch of other stuff.  My mind kept going back to their ages.  Little ones this young are so moldable I had trouble processing this. If I said yes they would be at the house in the morning (Wednesday).

Before I go on…..I am not going to say that there are not any kids out there with this behavior.  There are some kids that are really struggling with acceptable behavior some because they are choosing this behavior and others because they don’t know the difference and can't control themselves.

However -- when I got this call I told asked them if I can call them back in 10 minutes.  I had to talk with my hubby.  My husband looked at me like I was crazy.  We have 2 dogs, 3 cats and blind chicken and a house full of other children that do not want to be abused. After giving my husband "puppy dog" eyes -- he gave in.  I normally would not do this -- I think.  But their ages -- I couldn't let that sway me from what I was hearing.  If these were teenagers and I got this report -- sad to say I would not be brave enough to take this on. I called them back and said yes we would love them!!

I decided to stay home from church that night because based on our last placement it was very emotional.  I just wanted to play it calm and give them time to adjust.  My husband had to go to work that morning so I was on my own.  I told the older kids that were home that I am really gonna need their help for consoling.  I just knew that I was going to have to pull these kids off the workers when they left.  There was two of them.

They were at the house by 9am in the morning.  They came in all smiles and happy.  The case worker just looked at me and said they were ready to leave and come here. I showed them their room and the toys.  I was taken back!

I was on high alert for our animals and other children for a while.  I was very evident later on these children were sweet and typical 3 and 4 year old boys. They have never hurt the animals since they have been here.  They are active boys for sure but show me a 3 and 4 who is not.  Every once in a while they will play a little rough and they will hurt someone or they might get hurt.  

As the day went on it seemed like they had been with us since the beginning so I asked them if they wanted to go to church.  Oh my…Cheers through the ceiling!! They were so happy.  They said they do not go to church but they really wanted to.  Since that night every time they wake up from their nap or from wake up in the morning the first words out of their mouth is "is it church day?" They love it!!! They are always singing "The B-I-B-L-E yes that’s the book for me. I stand up on the word of God the B-I-B-L-E  BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and other songs!!

That Sunday after church while I was reading a book all 4 children asked the Lord into their heart.  I knew my other two had already done that but they wanted to again. Now they walk around and tell everyone that Jesus lives in their heart.  I told them that anytime they are scared or they don't know what is going to happen they can pray and ask the Lord to help them and keep them safe.  They love to pray at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

When Little D (4 yrs old) woke up from his nap the other day he said "When I was taking a nap I had a long talk with God….I asked him to please get me up from this long rest!"  I had to laugh.  At least he is having a conversation with God!

We have done respite before however this is the first foster placement we have had where we can't adopt them.  I think the other kids are struggling with this a bit.  They think that every kid that comes in they stay forever. I know these children will not be with me for a long time.  However while they are here I get to love on them, hug them, show them that we all care about them.  We get to introduce Jesus to them.  We get to plant seeds and pray that one day those seeds will take root and grow and spread.  All my other kids are seeing how important their role is to these little ones.  Its hard not to get attached.  I am giving these kids all I have and in the end when they leave I will be okay.  I will probably be in tears but tears never hurt me.  I want these children to know they do have a purpose and they are loved.  I am happy that they do have a family that wants them.  I am concerned about the mom coming back into their lives but the Lord knows the whole story (beginning, middle and ending). He knows what is best.  He loves these little guys so much.

Moments That Give You Pause

 

There are things in life that make you give a pause. A moment that really makes you stop what you are doing and think about how you are actually effecting someone else. It doesn't happen every day.  These moments for me happen very seldom.  As I get older these moments are starting to happen more frequently.  Maybe that is because I am starting to pay attention to the details instead of taking things for granted.  

As I get older I have really been thinking about my legacy that I am leaving behind.  What will my children say about me when I am gone.  I know that day is coming.  Hopefully it will be a long time from now.  All our days are numbered.  I can tell you this that my outlook on life is much different than it was even 5 years ago.  What is your legacy? What will your children say about you?  Were you fun to live with?  Are you there when your children need you most?  I wish I would have started much earlier giving this much thought.  Those who are closest to me know my short comings.  You don't know how bad you really are until you try to change.

This defining moment happened this morning and I just had to share with you. 

I can't tell you how sweet it is to have these little boys who come in to your home who are so distant and flinch at any kind of affection and 8 days later when they see you they try to snuggle up as close as they possibly can get with you on the couch. As I sit there they rub their little hands over my hands over and over again. They stare at me and press into me. Then Little D (4 years old) whispers in my ear "Your the best mommy in the whole world!" It brings tears to my eyes. And you ask me why I do what I do? That is payment enough!

I hope you also will pay attention to the "little" things that are actually "huge" to a little one.  

Blessings,

 

It Is Finished!! The adopting is final!

I know I have slacked off writing on this blog however I have exciting news to tell all of you!!! You have been reading my blog from the time we brought in 3 amazing girls into our family. You have been there as I was pouring out my heart telling you how they arrived and sharing our ups and downs.  You have been there with me as we were experiencing our victories and you have been with me as we have had our set backs.  Thank you so much for all your comments and personal emails to me!! I so appreciate your encouragement. 

However we experienced a MAJOR victory on November 5, 2013.  Our adoption was final!! We had a ceremony at the court house.  I was so surprised how special the judge made it.  The judge came down on the floor and talked to everyone that was there.  He explained that this was such a special time for him because his job as a judge is to be for or against a certain party.  However today was a day that he could celebrate with everyone.  He talked with each of the children and just made it special.  Jade (15 years old) wrote a song for the occasion and sang it to everyone.  She had several of us crying. 

I had all 9 of my children under one roof! With two children who are 22 and a 19 year old it is very difficult to make this happen.  I have never gotten a photo of everyone together.  But on this very special day we were all together -- in a photo!

Here they are!! Brooke (22), Ben (22), Clay(19), Alicia(15), Jade(15), Nemo(14), Joshua(11), Kendall(6) and Madison(5)

Here are the friends and family that attended the adoption ceremony.  I sure wish the judge was in this picture!

On the following Saturday we had an adoption party. I made a painted a tree on a canvas and those who made it to the party were able to put a finger print representing a leaf on a branch.  

I may fill it in with other finger prints. I'm still undecided on that.

So now for some other news!! On the very day that this adoption was final I received a "congratulations" call from DHS.  Once she was done thanking me for doing this and how lucky the children are she said ....."well the other reason why I am calling is that we have two young boys who need a home".  Lets just say I will start another segment on our journey with them!! Don't forget to follow me!! This is gonna be interesting!