Note To Self: Sometimes You Can't Fix Everything!

I am writing this post just mainly to vent and to "let go" of my frustrations.  When I do write it does help to let out some of my feelings.  I can tell I have a lot built up that sometimes I feel like I am going to burst. Yesterday was a really hard day at the Bowers home.  To give you an idea let me share with you.

 

For some reason Little K will not potty in her pants while she is at school.  She gets on the bus at 10:50 and doesn't come home until 3pm.  She comes home completely dry every day.  It is really encouraging to see her making so much progress.  She has made comments to me that if she wets her pants people will laugh at her and make fun of her.  Sad to say -- that is correct.  Kids can be very mean and will pick on other kids.  However at home if I am not reminding her to go potty she will potty in her pants every time.  After going through the weekend of numerous wet pants, I was looking forward to Monday because at least she will raise her hand in school and run to the bathroom when she has to go.  

 

To back up a bit........On Friday we decided to go have an enjoyable dinner at Hometown Buffet.  We don't go out that much any more because it cost nearly $100.00 for us to go out to a sit down dinner and McDonalds were looking at around $60.00 for a meal.  Both older girls were at a mountain top retreat so we decided to treat ourselves too.  While we were waiting in line we bumped in to one of our relatives.  They handed my husband 2 coupons! After paying our bill it came to $47.00!! What a steal!! Anyway on our drive there Little K was saying she had to go potty.  It told her to hold it and she is being so big by not going in her pants.  My husband let me out with the two girls and we run to the bathroom while he waits in line.  While in the bathroom I take Little K in a stall and I never let her lock it because I am tired of crawling underneath the door!  She goes inside and says I'm done! I look in and she has not even pulled her pants down and sat down.  I told her "you haven't even sat down yet.  Sit on that potty."  She pulls her pants down sits on the potty and goes potty.  I can't believe it!  We would have had to come home if I did not catch that one.

 

There have been numerous times when I send her in to go potty and she says "I tried and I can't go".  I reply "just sit there for a moment.  No more than those words come out and she is going potty.  

 

Yesterday of course she woke up wet which is not a battle for me.  I don't even try to combat that one right now until we figure out the "day time" problem.  I had to go to the Social Security office yesterday to get new cards for the two children we adopted last year.  I should have done this a long time ago however it was something that I was procrastinating about but FINALLY I did it and it was so easy afterwards I was wondering WHY I put that off so long.  It was a stress that didn't need to be there.  Anyway -- blah blah blah.......................My two wonderful 14 year olds helped me with the children while I ran my errand.  Before I even left at 10:00 she had wet her pants 2 times.  After I left she had wet her pants again.  I told Alicia to put her in her school clothes 20 minutes before she went out to the bus.  While she was out at the bus she wet her pants again.  They brought her in to change her clothes.  They ended up missing the bus.  I finally got home at 12:10pm and took her to school. On my way there I remembered Little M was coming home at 12:25pm.  I called home and told Miss J she needs to be out waiting for the bus at 12:20 just in case she comes home early and I am not back yet.  I drop Little K off at school rush back home and pull in the driveway at 12:21pm.  I decided to sit there and wait for Little M.  I wanted to see what time Miss J was actually going to come outside to wait for the bus.  It was a test.  So I sit and sit and sit.  At 12:40pm the bus still has not come and Miss J is not coming outside.  Yes I was a little mad.  I call the school and find out if the bus is running late.  Nope -- they left on time.  I get a call right back and they say -- we already dropped her off with her sister. I can't believe it!! Boy did I feel stupid!!  I go inside the house and Little M is already asleep in her bed and Miss J had gone out there at 12:15 to wait for her. So much for my "test".  It back fired on me!  Okay -- So at 3:00pm there was about 5 people coming to the house for a wrap meeting for Miss J.  This is a pretty big deal.  This is held once a month and it is a support team that we have in place.  3 to 5 people come Jackson County Mental Health, DHS, CASA worker, Counselors and so on.  At 2:30 I get a call from the school saying that Little K has wet her pants for the 2nd time and they cannot put her on the bus with wet pants-- she needs to be picked up.  I am in disbelief!! She has not done this since I put he in big girl pants on January 7th.  So really quick I pick her up and I back home 10 minutes before everyone arrives.  I get her changed and I send her to her room.  People start arriving and about 10 minutes into the meeting I go check on her and she is wet again.  I finally put a pull up on her and I am holding back tears.  I just cannot believe this.  It is not even 4:00 and she has gone through 6 pairs of underwear and pants.  Good thing I just did laundry!!  And of course when ever she has a pull up on she goes potty in her pull up.  She will not even attempt to go on her own.  It is a portable toilet for her. I am tired of fighting this battle for the day.  She only has so many so many clothes.

 

So last night after all the kids were in bed that is when I broke.  Yes it is frustration but it is more WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! She is 6 years old today and there is a MAJOR disconnect going on.  I have been trying this and trying that for 9 months consistently.  I am in disbelief!  It does not make sense to me. Hours and hours researching on the computer possible ways to help her.  Reading book after book begging for answers.  We have praised her, we have used the sticker program, the discipline program, going to bed early program, ballroom gown program and on and on and on.  You name it we have tried it.  I just don't get it. 

 

My husband shocks me sometimes.  I can be so upset over something and he is mister calm, cool and collected.  He says "how much more are you going to put yourself through until we find out what is really wrong?  Put her in pull ups until then."  He is not always like that but I think that is what shocks me sometimes.  Of course he is right but I just don't want to undo what she has accomplished over the 9 months.  

 

I am one of those people who I admit -- if there was a 6 year old who potty their pants just let them come to my house -- they wouldn't be doing that for long.  Well this little girls has proved to me I am not all that! Judging always seems to come back to bite me.

 

On May 6 she is scheduled to go to the CDRC (Child Rehabilitation Center in Eugene) which they will do a complete psychology evaluation and more and we will have some definite diagnosis from that point on.  I want to help her so bad!!!  She just doesn't get it.  You can tell there is a blank there.  Lord please help my little girl!! Please help me help my little girl. 

 

After last night of letting all my feeling out to my poor husband I came to realize why I was so frustrated.  I don't want Little K to go through life feeling inferior to her pears.  I want her to have confidence.  I want he to be successful.  She is so innocent and so little at just 6 years old that I know she can get there.  I don't know why she is not potty trained.  I don't know why she can't talk like a 6 year old. I don't know a lot of things but the Lord does.  I know as we follow the Lord to guide her in all HIS ways she will live a fulfilling life.  I do hate it that I can't help her or "fix" this problem right now.  But in time hopefully this will all be behind us. 

Happy 6th Birthday to Little K!!

Today we celebrated Little K's 6th birthday.  Its hard to believe she has been with us for 9 months.  Wow that is how long a mother carries her baby before giving birth.  I remember that scared little girl acting so calm getting out of the van and looking at me with a straight face and asking me "mom, can I see my room?" And then looking back on when she first entered our home and to see where we are now I can say -- I never want to go back there again!  She has made so many positive changes over the last past nine months.

 

I remember disciplining her and there was no reaction.  She could stand in the corner for an hour or more with no response.  Don't get me wrong I would not just put her in the corner for an hour and leave her there.  After being there for 5 or 10 minutes asking if she was ready to come out she would not respond.  So I had her stand there for another 5 or 10 minutes and I would ask her the same thing again.  No-- response.  We would keep doing this.  I would get tired! I would turn her around so she could look at me in the eye.  She would close her eyes and not look at me.  You wouldn't see her cry or be really happy.  There was a major disconnect.  There were times when I thought we had demon possessed child on our hands and I would cry to my husband!! Well after much prayer and LOVE she is not demon possessed! I was trying so hard to understand her but constantly there were walls every where I turned.

 

We are still dealing with a number of issues but I can't tell you the joy I feel inside when I do believe we are conquering the Reactive Attachment Disorder.  There are some children that live a life time dealing with this.  Now when she gets in to trouble she does cry and show tears -- Praise the Lord!!  When she is excited she burst forth with an overwhelming joy!!! Praise the Lord!  She LOVES to cuddle up next to me on the couch. Praise the Lord!  She begs me to rock her in my chair while I rub her arms and stroke her hair and kiss her face. Praise the Lord! She says she loves me -- and means it!!!. Praise the Lord!!!  

 

We finally have her appointment with CDRC (Child Development Rehabilitation Center) in Eugene.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!! I started this process back in August and they finally called me last week.  Little K is STILL not potty trained.  When I tell you we have tried everything -- I am not lying!  I have done everything but pound my head on the wall and that I have been tempted.  I know Little K is a complex little girl. 

 

Regardless of how difficult our journey has been -- I can tell you that I love this little girl as if I gave birth to her.  All this garbage that we are dealing with is only making our love for her grow stronger and stronger!!  I pray that through our journey I am able to help someone else who is going through a similar situation.

 

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!!!

So Close But Yet So Far!

Have you ever heard of the saying "So close but yet so far"? I just experienced this and it makes me sick to my stomach!

 

Today we had a court date.  The case worker told me that if the mom doesn't show her parental rights will be terminated.  Excitement ran through every part of my being.  This mom sad to say is like a cancer for these children. Could it be finally true after several years --will Miss J, my 14 year old finally be legally free?  She can't stand her mom and wants nothing to do with her.  Her mom is currently using drugs and not making an effort to get her act together.  In December she was arrested for burglary and theft. She has been given chance after chance and my daughter is just ready for this night mare to be over.  Evidentially the mom has a warrant out for her arrest.  If she does appear she will be arrested and taken into custody.  One of the things that has had me nervous was with her out of jail -- I am afraid that we will run into her as we are out and about.  We live in a relatively small community so that is extremely possible.

 

Praise the Lord we were the first case the judge called.  The mom was not there.  The case worker went up front and was sworn in.  She was being crossed examined by someone (not sure who).  They were making an appoint to tell why the parental rights should be terminated. About 2 more minutes and the case would have been over. I was so happy but yet I was not looking forward to informing my daughter of this news because as much as she doesn't like her it is still hard to deal with.  I knew in minutes it would be done.  All of a sudden the case worker said my night mare "MOM JUST WALKED IN THE COURT ROOM!"  She repeated what she said.  The judge put a stop to everything.  The mom came and sat down at the table.  Her body was contorting in different positions.  You can tell she had been using. The mom said she would like to deny the termination.  The judge now said we will have to go to trial.  Now we have an appointment in March, one in April and one in May.  The judge did say that if she misses any of the appointments that were set, her parental rights will be terminated immediately.

 

If only.......................................it was almost done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost want to jump up and down and throw a fit (learned by my best teachers -- my kids).  My stomach feels nauseated. I know the Lord has a plan.  I am just looking forward to these children knowing the are not going anywhere. 

 

................and so says the phrase "So close but yet so far".

Bringing In The New Year With Princesses!!!

Well hello there!!! I know it has been along time since I posted anything on my blog but I am going to continue to try to keep this going.  As I read back I forget details on what had happened on our journey.  For this I am thankful that I have this blog to remind me. Let me fill you in on the latest and then I will back track over the last 3 months to fill you in on where we are in the process. 

 

To bring in the New Year I decided to take my children to a colonial dance here locally.  We went last year and the kids had a great time!!! They loved it! Last year we only had 3 kids with us and this year we have 6.  My husband was on call with his work so he had to stay at home just in case he had to go out on a service call.  So I braved it by myself.  I made sure the little girls had a nap around 4pm because we were staying out past midnight. Well all I can say is that the kids had a blast and they danced and danced all night long.  In fact they love it so much they want to join the homeschooling dance lessons for colonial dancing.  

 

Joshua surprised me.  He tends to be extremely shy and reserved.  He would go up to these little girls and ask them to dance with no prompting! WOW! There was a boldness there that took me off guard.  I was so happy to see him come out of his shell and have so much fun.

 

My two little ones Little K and Little M walked in to the dance area, saw the HUGE mirrors on the either side of the room and immediately put their hands on their heads and started being ballerinas. They twirled and was in their own little world for about 20 minutes.  I managed to get a video of the very last of it.  If only you can see the beginning -- it was precious!!  After they were done with that, the instructor came up to Miss M and said "would you like to dance?" Miss M shook her head "no" and immediately clung to me.  He looked at Miss K and said "would you like to dance?" and she said "yes" and very politely he took her by the hand and led her out on the floor.  He squatted down so he would be at her height. Like a lady she danced the cutest dance. Sometimes she would throw him off because she wanted to twirl and he wasn't ready but he made the adjustment and she twirled and twirled around the dance floor.  By this time 30 minutes into the dance of course my phone was dead so I didn't get any pictures of them except for my little video that I have on here.  After they were done --he came over and he bowed at her and said "thank you for this dance" and she bowed at him and said "thank you".  Then he decided to give Miss M one more chance.  "Would you like to dance?" and seeing the Little K was safe and had a great time she said "yes" and off they went to the dance floor.  He danced with the both of them for another 3 times. From that time on every time a new song came on they were getting pretty upset because he was dancing with other people and they "WANTED" or let me rephrase that "DEMANDED" to dance.  They are still working on being a ladies.  So my boys and my big girls took the little girls out on the dance floor and would dance with them through the night. The instructor would appear at our table every now and then and would dance with the little ones.  Boy did they feel special!! It was an evening to remember!!!

 

 

There is a story behind the dresses -- I will fill you in on that later.

Adoption: Messy Bedroom Solution

Poor Nemo he didn't think I was serious when I said "You don't want me to clean your room". We adopted him 1 1/2 years ago and I have been putting off doing this for some time. I am not sure what Joshua was thinking because he has had this done several times in his life time.  Their room has been trashed for several months now.  I do believe because of all their "stuff" it became overwhelming to clean.  They didn't know what to do with it all.  Plus Christmas is around the corner and I declutter before adding even more toys. Today was THE day.

My husband informed me that he was taking the boys fishing on Friday (today). This would be a perfect time to "clean" their room.

Here was what I was facing.

Yes -- very overwhelming even for me.  On top of everything else -- 5 minutes into cleaning I hit my nuckle really hard on the bunk bed that sent me to the floor.  Then just to make matters worse after I washed their blankets I went to hang them on the cloth line and got stung by a bee right on the arm pit!! WOWSIE!!! That hurt!

So here is the result of pushing through pain.  Now I just hope the garbage truck shows up before they do!!!!!

Blessings!

Adoption: Happy Halloween?

Brace yourself!! I get slack every single year for how I feel about Halloween.  What makes it much more difficult is when you take in children who have ALWAYS celebrated this day they almost feel like they are being mistreated because we stay far away from anything that resembles this day.  This was a fun day for them!

The two we adopted last year are actually realizing the truth and share our feelings about halloween and focus on Jesus instead.  This brings joy to my soul!! However, we now have three new children and they do not understand "what is the big deal" about this day. I know the Lord will cover what areas I fail into explaining about this day.

I know many disagree with me but that is okay.  Even my own reletives have halloween parties.  They do not celebrate satan or anything like that.  However, my family does not participate in these activities.

This year I was so EXCITED to discover on this day we will be in church!! That is the place we need to be on this day!! See what I mean how the Lord covers me? 

I found this blog that shares my feelings about Halloween.  I have many people ask me just like this writer of this blog and our answers are very simular. So I thought I would share what she wrote and it will explain alot about how I feel about halloween.

"Happy" Halloween?

Posted: 25 Sep 2012 09:11 PM PDT

My birthday happens to be on October 31st - yes, Halloween night.  As a result, I have had a long history progressing from celebrating Halloween as a child for my birthday parties, to not celebrating it at all with our children now.  And people seem to assume that because I was born on that day I therefore must know a lot about Halloween, and they always ask me questions about it.  *chuckle*  So as a result I have tried to educate myself over the years to be able to use my birthday for Christ; to use the questions as an open door to "unmask" the truth about Halloween for those who really want to know.  

 

Here are my answers about Halloween, and what scripture says about celebrating it.  There are the short answers for those people who ask a question in passing or out of politeness, and there are the longer answers for those who seem to really desire hearing more truth about it.  *smile*  When people question me I continue answering questions as they continue prompting for more information, and they stop asking when they're "full".  *laugh* 


Answering the questions and comments...

§ "Do you celebrate Halloween?"

§ "Did you you used to have trick-or-treating birthday parties?"

§ "What changed your mind about Halloween?"

§ "It's just a fun activity; we don't 'celebrate' Halloween, we just dress-up, go trick-or-treating, and pass out candy."

§ "Don't you feel that your kids will miss out by not dressing up and going trick-or-treating?" 

§ "Do you pass out candy at the front door when trick-or-treaters come?" 

§ "We participate in a Harvest Festival that night instead."

§ What scripture says about Halloween and occultism

§ Guarding against building an appetite 

§ "What do you do then on the evening of October 31st?"

§ Surrender and blessings

§ Some valuable resources to help people learn about the truth about Halloween and the occult.

~~~~~~~~~~

Let me start by saying that most people who celebrate Halloween do not want to know what God says about it.  *chuckle*  Generally, people want to do what they want to do - and they do not want someone to shed any light on the topic.  And most people who learn that we do not celebrate Halloween immediately respond by giving me lots of reasons and justifications as to why they are convinced that it's good for them to celebrate this pagan holiday.  I just smile.  They are free to do as they choose; that is completely between them and the Lord...but if they ask me why we do not celebrate Halloween then I will share.  God's timing is perfect for each person.  When the Spirit prompts families to really seek the truth about a topic, then they will be ready to hear it and they will drink in the truth whole-heartedly.


"Do you celebrate Halloween?"
The Short answer:  No.  *smile*

The Long answer, when people ask, "Why not?" :  Because it's a celebration of death and fear and we don't celebrate that; we celebrate life. 

There is nothing Christian about this pagan holiday.  Nothing what so ever.  It is one of the two biggest satanic holidays of the entire year - recognized even by both the US Air Force, and a state prison.  Wicca (witches, pagans, and occultists) call Halloween,  "Samhain" (lord of death).  The Wiccan calendar is even orchestrated around Halloween, between October 31st and October 30th.  There are a lot of evil practices that happen on that dark night, and not just historically since the Dark Ages but today as well.  So no, we do not celebrate Halloween... But many Christians condone this "holiday" by participating in it.


"Did you used to have trick-or-treating birthday parties?"
The Short answer:  Yes, before my parents became Christians and chose to celebrate life instead of death and fear.

The Long answer:  I always had trick-or-treating birthday parties with about a dozen party guests.  We all dressed up in costumes, including my parents, and my mom made all kinds of evil-looking foods for us to eat, such as green macaroni and cheese, and adding dry ice to the apple juice so that it would "smoke" like a caldron.  My brother and I celebrated Halloween until I was about 18-years-old (and he was 15), at which time my baby sisters were 3 and 6-years-old and my parents needed to re-evaluate whether or not they ought to be trick-or-treating.  At that time my parents dug in to God's Word and realized that Halloween was actually a very dark "holiday" that Christians shouldn't participate in.  I would encourage people to ask themselves, "Would Jesus participate in Halloween?"  No?  Then should we?


"What changed your mind about Halloween?" 
The Short answer:  I've done a fair amount of studying about Halloween and the occult (satanism), through Christian books, online materials, audio messages by prominent Christian theologians, and God's Word.  The origins and current day practices were and are very dark, frightening, and clearly evil.  The more I learned, the more I desired to stay as far away from Halloween as possible. 

The Long answer :  I did a research project on the realities of the occult (satanism) and Halloween while I was attending Christian college.  I read an autobiography written by a former high priest Satanist now Christian, and studied a lot of other material.  I was shocked by what I found (see the resources I've listed below for well-documented and fascinating information on Halloween.)

The world of the occult has been permeating our society for the past 30 years, through movies, games such as Dungeons and Dragons and Ouija (pronounced, "weegie) boards, toys, and books such as Harry Potter.  It's become common place.  No big deal.  Most people really aren't shocked by it any more - and are actually convinced that it's harmless.

"It's just a fun activity.  We don't 'celebrate' Halloween, we just dress-up, go trick-or-treating, and pass out candy."
The Short answer:  Which... is celebrating Halloween.

The Long answer :  Even if we did not understand about the evil behind Halloween, there are lots of scary people out there, and Bob and I do not feel it is wise to send our children or our young people to strangers doors to ask for candy.  It's not safe to have them wandering about at night (with or without an adult).  And we do not feel it's a good to encourage our children to approach people's front doors and tell them that they should give our child a treat, or they will regret it.  *chuckle*  "Trick-or-treat".   It's good for parents to think carefully about what actions they're encouraging their children to take.
 

"Don't you feel that your kids will miss out by not dressing up and going trick-or-treating?" 
The Short answer:  No.  *smile*

The Long answer :  We don't make decisions based on whatever we want; we choose to let scripture guide our decisions.  Scripture says 'no', so we ask ourselves, "Okay then, so what are our other choices?"  And we find other fun things to do as a family.  *smile*  We don't look at it s missing out, we look it as choosing something wholesome for our family.


"Do you pass out candy when children come trick-or-treating at the front door?"
The short answer:  No. That would be condoning the celebration of Halloween.

The long answer:  Putting up decorations that display and play with death and fear on our front porch and yard, and/or encouraging other children to participate in Halloween by passing out candy at our front door when they come trick-or-treating is still also celebrating it; let's be honest.  And when those dressed-up children come to our front door our own children are then exposed to those costumes (and we've had children be frightened like that in the past).  Also parents must consider what message they would be sending if they did not allow their own children to participate in Halloween, but they passed out candy to other children who were.  We need to be consistent in what we communicate to our children as being right and good.


"We participate in a Harvest Festival that night instead."
The Short answer:  ...Which is celebrating Halloween but calling it something different. 

The Long answer :  Some may call it "All Saints Day".  But the bottom line is, if it looks like, tastes like, and smells like costumes and trick-or-treating, and it happens on or right around October 31st, then it is celebrating this pagan holiday.  We used to participate in harvest festivals at church for our first 10 years as parents.  Years ago at a church we were members of before we moved Bob and I each had jobs helping to put on the festivals.  I was the candy buyer, going out and spending $700-800 on candy from the local stores and bringing it all back to the church, and Bob was the primary photographer.  Until the Holy Spirit began showing us that we were really not staying far enough from Halloween.  And when we asked the Lord to teach us more on this, He sent some great educational materials and theologians to help us learn God's truth about it.

Many, if not most main stream churches seem to have convinced themselves that they can offer a "safe solution" for children on Halloween night by offering a Harvest Festival as an alternative to Halloween.  But really that's like saying, Halloween is okay just don't go out on the streets to do it.  Or, families are going to do it anyway, so let's just help them do it safely.  That's the same reasoning as encouraging kids to drink alcohol at home because they're going to do it elsewhere anyway so they might as well do it where they're safe at home.  What we should be teaching children is that the celebration of evil, death, and fear is wrong, that scripture condemns participation in it, and then expecting them to obey God's Word.  Again, we shouldn't teach children that we make decisions based on what we want; we should make decisions based on what God's Word says we should and should not do.  It's not like scripture is silent on the subject of Halloween...


What scripture says about Halloween and occultism  (emphasis mine)

"Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.  But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.  For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, which is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.  Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.  Therefore do not be partakers with them.  For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them."  ~ Ephesians 5:1-11

"Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."  ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22

"Rather, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice they sacrifice to demons and not to God, and I do not want you to have fellowship with demons.  You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the Lord's table and of the table of demons."  ~ 1 Corinthians 10:20-21

"[do not] give place to the devil."  ~ Ephesians 4:27

"Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons."  ~ 1 Timothy 4:1

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"  ~ Isaiah 5:20

"Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good."  ~ Romans 12:9

 "Seek good and not evil, that you may live; So the Lord God of hosts will be with you..."  ~ Amos 5:14

It may be tempting for people to think these words too strong for being applicable to playing with Halloween, but from what we've been taught, and from what we've learned and have read through out God's Word - we need to take evil serious.   It's not a joke.  It's not something to be played with.  Satan would like nothing more than for people to believe that just compromising a little bit won't hurt anything...that just a little fun in the dark won't lead to anything...that the children will be just fine...

"Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, 'Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden'?...Then the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die.'"  ~ Genesis 3:1, 4

I heard a great quote once about playing around with sin:

"Sin will take you farther than you intended to stray,
keep you longer than you intended to stay,
and cost you more than you ever intended to pay."  (author unknown)

I encourage parents to consider, is it really worth it, playing around with this occultic holiday?


Building an appetite 
It is always wise to consider before deciding to participate in anything whether or not that activity could form too great of an appetite, a desire for more and more, and which would then lead to bad fruit.  Halloween did this to me, and to all my other friends growing up. 

My friends and I started with simple trick-or-treating, dressing up and decorating with evil and darkness...and this was no big deal and became common place.  Then as a young adult enjoying haunted houses, enjoying the thrill of fear, and of playing in the dark (where all kinds of bad things are born).  As we got a little older we then desired to practice more of what we participated in at night, so we did pranks on other people's houses, covering their yard and home with toilet paper that then gets wet with dew and pretty much cannot be removed then by the home owner, and other such "tricks" which we thought were so sly and clever...and we enjoyed playing with evil and harm.  I had friends get in to the dangerous Dungeons and Dragons game.  Others who introduced me to Ouija (pronounced weegie) boards, which dabble in communing with evil spirits.  Then there was a fascination with fortune telling and tellers (which are at the fair grounds here in our town, and at several locations around town as well - easily accessible).  Of course there was the thrill of horror movies, again the thrill of fear, evil, death...but now with images that are in one's head forever.  And now that I'm a parent, the several horror movies I did see were returning to haunt my dreams about our children and loved ones... And all of these things lure kids in to the occult.

People may be fooled in to thinking, Well, I would never let our child get so involved.  But those same parents are willing to introduce the darkness of Halloween when the child is little.  Should we say, Well, we just played around with that a little bit but now we should stop?  The child then asks, Why should I stop?  I like it.  I would encourage parents to think ahead to what they are choosing to introduce and communicate to their children.


"What DO you do then on the evening of October 31st?" 
We choose to turn off the front porch light by our front door so as to not look inviting to trick-or-treaters, and to avoid having children come to our door only to have us ignore their knocks, or to open the door but have to tell them that we don't have any candy for them...over, and over, and over again.  If we encourage costumed children to come to the front door then our children have to be exposed to those frightening costumes, and we would be giving a mixed message to our children that we will support others celebrating Halloween but we will not do so ourselves.  That can cause children to feel angry, and eventually to rebel.  We choose to not have any part in Halloween at all. 

We celebrate my birthday that day with the children instead.  We decorate our house for a birthday celebration, watch a movie as a family, maybe play a game, make home made popcorn and snuggle in the family room.  But even if we didn't have a birthday to celebrate that day, we'd still do all those fun activities (minus the birthday decorations of course) just like we do so many other days of the year.  *smile*

We have learned that we can't easily go out of the house on Halloween night because there are horrific costumes everywhere we could go:  to the mall for a sweet treat and to play in the children's play area; to a store (even the grocery store); to any other children's play areas; even walking down the side walks.  So we just stay home and enjoy ourselves as a family.  Sometimes we go somewhere to celebrate my birthday the weekend before my birthday instead.


Surrender and blessings
The world would tell us that we are missing out or greatly sacrificing by not celebrating Halloween.  That what we receive by not participating with Halloween is only loss.  But this is a lie from the enemy of our souls, and from the world. 

The truth is we receive great blessing in protecting our children's minds, hearts, and emotions as the Lord calls us to.  *smile*  By protecting them from evil influences their minds are not compromised, their hearts not tempted toward darkness, and their emotions are not fearful or worried when they are young.  We practice "green housing" the children so that they, as new sprouts and saplings, can obtain strong roots and a healthy beginning so that when they are transplanted in to the world they will be able to withstand the storms, the disease, and that which will seek to destroy them.  They will have a strong foundation in Christ, they will know The Way of truth and life and how to walk in it, and be able to lead others to Christ and eternal life with Him, too.  It is good to teach our children the principle that we do not do whatever we want in life, or whatever is easiest or most popular, but rather what God directs us to (and from) in His Word. 


Some valuable resources to help people learn about the truth about Halloween and the occult.

I have found some really excellent resources to help people become aware of the dark side of Halloween and how prevalent it is in society today.  I encourage people to learn as much as they can, to make safe and scriptural decisions for their families, and to have an answer ready for their choices when people ask.

§  The Occult Explosion - an excellent audio message by Dr. Ron Carlson, founder of Christian Ministries International, and a world renowned speaker and teacher since 1975 (listen to a FREE 10 minute sample, and purchase the entire message for $6)

§ Halloween's Occultic Connection - David L. Brown of BelieversWeb has researched this topic for more than a decade. This 8 page article is an excellent, well-documented, thorough description of Halloween.

§ What Witches, Satanists and Other Occultists Say About Halloween, by Logos Research Pages

§ Should Christians Celebrate Halloween? (a blog post and book by a former witch and satanic high priest, now Christian)

So.  *smile*  I would encourage you to consider carefully how you will spend October 31st this year, and to come up with a wholesome family plan that will be pleasing to the Lord.  And if you have children's costumes from past Halloween celebrations that are wholesome, you could add those to the dress up box at home and let the kids enjoy them all year long instead.  There's nothing wrong with the costumes themselves; it's what people choose to do with the costumes that can be the problem.

Blessings on your family as you choose what to do on October 31st this year.  It's an important decision, and I've been praying for you.

Adoption: To Love Or Not To Love

Someone asked me the other day what I feel when someone asks me how many children I have and I reply with "9".  It made me stop and think because the funny thing is I have been pondering this thought myself. 

The word that comes to my head is "proud" however that is not the word I am looking for.  I am not
"proud" that I have 9 children.  I guess the feeling that I have is "full" or "content".  I am "satisfied".  I love my life.  The Lord has blessed me richly.

I think getting away for a couple days really made me realize how much I do love ALL of my little blessings. 

I have really seen a change in my 10 year old son over the past month.  This adoption has not been easy on him by any means.  For awhile he cringed every time one of the little girls wanted to give him a hug or a kiss on the cheek.  He still has the view of girls having cooties.  Not that the little ones have cooties but the only one who could give him a kiss on the cheek is his mommy.  Yes -- ME! As much as I love this I thought it was important that he makes sure he shows these little ones that he loves them like a brother loves his sister.  I brought up that for a long time now his feelings get so hurt when his older brother won't hug him or show affection to him.  Joshua is a very lovable boy.  To him he feels rejected when he is pushed away.  Since that talk with Joshua he has been such a loving brother to these little girls.  They go up to him and give him the biggest hugs and he hugs them right back just as big as what they gave him.  Every night they want to give Joshua and hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Joshua gives each one a kiss on the cheek and he tells them that he loves them.  My heart turns to mush when I see this.

He asked me the other day if he can wait for the bus by himself when little K gets off.  He said that he wants them to know that he cares for them and that he loves them so much.  He said that he remembers how bad it hurt not to be hugged my his older siblings and he does not want them to feel that way. 

He did ask me "what happens if they do go back to their real mom and dad?"  I explained to him that that is always a risk until this whole thing is final and it could very well happen.  The thing we have to remember is that we are teaching them how to love one another and we love them completely regardless of where they will be in 5 years.  Our job is to share the love of Jesus and prepare them the best we can with what time we have with them -- all the while praying like crazy that God will preform a miracle and have them be with us forever.  Josh told me that when he gets older he would love adopt one day.  I love this boy!!


I have heard people who do foster care state don't get attached to the children that you have in your home because when it comes time for them to leave you will be heart broken.  Well all I have to say to that is that is a bunch of garbage.  These children need to be loved COMPLETELY!! If I get hurt -- I get hurt.  These kids can tell if you treat them differently from your biological children and they do want to be part of you.  So my advise to you is to give them the best gift you can and love them to pieces while you have them.  That might be the only true love they experience.