Halloween -- Satan Wants Evil To Look So Sweet And Freindly! Beware!!

The day is coming fast that always gives me an ill feeling in my gut.  As the years goes by the feeling getting more and more intense.  As much as I try to sheild my children from it I fail.  Its at every turn.  Its in the grocery stores, its on TV, its covering the houses as you drive by.  Its everywhere! Our world is so evil and its getting more evil by the hour.  Its gonna get worse before it gets better. Parents our children need our direction and protection regardless if they want it. Please click on the link and read it!!!
http://ddasullivan.blogspot.com/2011/09/friendly-captivity-beth-moore-has-bible.html

Thanks for reading!!!!
Sheri

Update On Our 4 Foster Children

 

The saying above is so true!!! But is so scary on both ends!!!! This is where you need to trust in the Lord.  He's got you in the palm of his hand.  He knows the beginning and the ending.


Thank you so much for not giving up on me!! It has been forever since I updated you on our situation.  So long that I almost forgot my password! I had to use major brain power to remember. 

Nine months later we still have these angels. The Lord has been so faithful to all of us.  He has taking me on a growth journey too.  Looking back at my first post I told you that I was angry.  In most cases I do get there If its meth or some other drug that is tearing these families apart.  But the anger is gone.  Now I feel compassion for these people because they are dealing with a mental problem that is far beyond their control.  Even on medication it is not enough to help them to be reuinited with their children.  These kids LOVE their parents!! Most children do even if they do come from hair raising experiences. 

The mom turned to me at the visitation center the other day and it spooked me.  She said with the most non emotional expression and said "If we can't have our children I want you to have them".  I was expecting her to break down crying at this point in order to talk about this subject.  Instead I was the one who was biting my lip trying not to break down.  I told her that I was not upset at her or her husband for this.  I reassured her that we do love these kids so much.  She acknowledged that her children love us and are attached to us. I lay awake at night and try to comprehend the disconnect I sensed from her that day.  As a mom of 13 children I just dont get it and I have pitty for them.  My heart wrenches for them.  I do believe my heart hurts for them and their kids far more than their heart hurts for their children and themselves.

We found out that Little P had fluid behind her ear drum.  Her ear drums were not working at all.  She had been living in a tunnel for a very long time.  Now she has tubes in her ears.  I never thought I would be happy to hear her use her voice.  She actaully talks at a volume where I have ask her to "talk quieter".   Her appetite has improved and she hasn't been sick for awhile now.  I feel like she is once and for all full of laughter, love and life!!

There is a reletive who lives in Minnasota who is interested in the four.  They are actually leaving for two weeks in about a week to meet the reletives. If all goes well they will be the ones that adopt them.  They have never met them before. The Lord knows where these kids need to be.

Anyway-- Im gonna end this post here but I really am going to try to post more. Please keep up in your prayers as our journey with these little ones is getting closer to the end.

Fostering Group of 4!

"Beware that you don't look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father."
 Matthew 18:10

Its hard to believe that we have had these 4 new foster children for almost a month. WOW!!! As I find out more about the parents my skin crawls and I get mad!! Both parents have mental problems and drug use.  The things they have had to deal with makes me all the more thankful they are with us.

Let me do a brief introduction for you.  There is Little H (4 Years Old).  What a doll.  At first when she came in she wouldn't say a peep.  The old foster mom told me she was non verbal.  Well not only can she talk but she is a giggle monster!  She loves to laugh and to play all day long.  She is not a bed wetter however during the day she wears pull up and does not have the interest of going potty in the toilet.  So that is one of our goals for her.  she can be more aggressive than the other children at times but that could be due to her age or the relationship these little ones have had with one another. But were working on that too.  She is very remorseful when I have to pull her off of one of her siblings. J

Little P (5 Years Old)!! OH My Goodness!!! She is the most sensitive out of all of them.  She is still crying for her mommy when it comes to going to sleep.  she has the most precious smile that will melt your heart in a second.  She has a significant speech delay.  she talks as if she is 2 years old.  I do believe this is due to the neglect she has endured.  She is very outgoing and happy.  She listens very well.  She loves to cuddle. You can often find her snuggled up to one of the teenage girls as they do their computer work in homeschooling.

Mr. M (6 Years old) -- My heart skips a beat every time I see this boy.  He says "I love you Momma!" I'm in heaven.  I tell him "You are such a good boy! Did you know that?" He responds "I'm a very good boy!"  Indeed he is! When he came to me he was so scared!! He needed extensive dental work.  He had to have 5 teeth pulled!! They had to pull all four bottom teeth because his permanent teeth were growing in behind them. Plus he had an infection in the root of one of his other back teeth.  Poor thing! Don't know how long he has been dealing with that pain.

Mr. T (7 Years Old) -- This little guy is the one I am concerned about the most. I am working on getting him tested for Autism.  His responses are very slow.  He is either very happy or very low in mood.  These moods can be minutes apart from each other. This little guys teeth were the worst I had ever seen before. After they had arrived at my house and as they were getting ready for bed I had them brush their teeth.  I gave him his tooth brush and told him to put tooth paste on it and brush his teeth.  He looked at me and said "what do I do?  I never brushed my teeth before". I was taken back but didn't make it too much of a big deal.  I put tooth paste on it and helped him brush his teeth.  After 3 seconds in his mouth he wanted to spit.  I said "Okay spit."  When he did blood was flowing from his mouth.  Oh my!!! Poor little guy!  He also had an infection in one of his teeth so they had to extract it. Between a tooth pulled, root canal, a spacer put in, caps on several teeth he is good to until his 6 month check up. He says "I can't believe it!  My teeth don't hurt anymore!"

The oldest boys are in school in which they have never attended school before in their past.  They are really behind but I am praying that they will be able to catch up in time to where everyone else is in school. Usually when children are taken by the State the plan is reunification to the parents once they get stable and are able to care for their children.  In this case they are going for termination of parental rights.  This gives you an idea of what these children have had to deal with in there sweet little lives.

As I get to know them I am in awe that the Lord would bless us with these gentle children!! They all have such sweet natures.  They love to snuggle and to love me.  Thank you Jesus for these four sweet angles you have placed in our home!!!

Past Foster Children Plus Taking On 4 More!

I have been meaning to write for so long but something was holding me back.  I really need to stop that because part of this blog writing project is for me also to look back on where we have been and where we are now and what I have learned along the way.

The end of September my two fosters children ages 7 and 10 went home to be with their family.  They were with us for 6 months.  I do miss them however the recovery process for  our family needed to happen.  I didn't realize how it really affected our family until they were gone.  When I see them I get excited and I am truly glad to see them and get happy when I hear they are doing well however I am also glad they are where they need to be.

After they left we had a 7 month old and a 2 year old placement.  We only had them for 1 1/2 weeks.  We didn't know it was going to be so short but those placements do happen.  The connection with these two little ones was happening fast with everyone in the family. I look at this placement as a healing touch from the Lord.  These babies were such a refresher for our kids and for me and my husband.  These two little ones brought us all together and we all fell in love with them.  When I look back I loved the midnight feedings, the slobbery kisses, the smiles and laughs.  It was a pure joy and love that everyone in my house could feel.11 days later after the placement I get a phone call from DHS saying that the family they have been trying to approve is approved and can go to that family now.  I was really taken back because I had no idea they were even trying to approve another family.  This was not a relative.  It was a family that went to their church.  I had 1 hour to gather their things and to bring them to the family.   My two older children were gone and I knew they would be heart broken when they got home but this was something I had to bring myself to do. After gathering myself and shedding some tears and ran around the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to fit all their things in the car. I was praying from all the way to DHS.  Selfishly I was praying I would not look like a babbling idiot as I turned over the children.  I also prayed for the safety of these kids.  Once I got there I met the family to whom these little ones would be with.  They were so nice and friendly.  I could see the joy in the 2 year olds face as he made eye contact with the lady and put up his arms really high for her to pick him up.  This put my heart at ease and made me feel so much better.  Thank you Jesus!!! I was now able to return to my family and comfort them and I told them of the new family.  I was thankful that the foster situation was only 11 days and not 1 year!! Eeek!! That kind of scares me when I think about it like that.

The returning of the babies happened on a Tuesday and on Thursday I get a phone call asking me if I would like to babysit a 10 month old baby who was just brought in to care.  Actually it was my old foster children's nephew (the 7 and 10 year old that I talked about in the second paragraph in this post). For one this was horrible that this baby was now part of the system and I knew him -- he is such a good baby however I had no desire to babysit.  This did nothing for me on the inside at all. I said "no that is not something I would like to get into."  She asked me what ages I was looking for.  I told her right now we are taking a break but then I added "in a perfect world I would be looking for 2 girls ages 4 and 5." She replied with "OH REALLY?"  Oh no……….here it comes.  She explained to me that over the weekend they got a placement of 4 children -- ages 4,5,6,7.  Two boys and two girls.  The boys are together and the girls are separated and they are looking for a place where the two girls can be together.  There were 3 foster families involved in this one case. There was no reason for all 4 children to be separated however not many people have to room for 4 children let alone able to transport them. I told her I would get back with her and talked with my husband and family about it.  I heard in the background from my certifier "If you tell Sheri there are 4 children she's gonna want all of them!" and people were laughing in the background of the phone call.  I told her she can tell my certifier that she is so wrong because were only looking into the girls.  

Later that night I was talking to my family to see where they were at and how they felt.  When they found out there were 4 children they all begged and pleaded for us to take all 4.  My husband was the most reluctant and he should be.  He is not a spontaneous guy and it takes him about two weeks to do anything spontaneous.  He keeps me grounded and level headed because I am very spontaneous which has got me in trouble over my life time.  However like God speed the next day he said that would be willing to take all 4 children.  So I called DHS and told them what we wanted.  I also added two conditions that were very important to us in order to make this happen.  One of them was to move the two boys to our local school so I am not transporting them back and forth and the other was to not make this move until Monday so we have over the weekend to plan and to take a small break. We had to get a special approval because this put us 3 over in our house making 10 kids.  Praise the Lord we have a big house with 6 bedrooms and just so happens we have 4 seatbelts open in our 12 passenger van. About 1 hour later they call me and say they are mine!  

Oh praise Jesus but I'm really gonna need his help! That is a lot of children!! Now the ages are 4, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 12, 15, 16, 16. So far it has been 7 days since the transition and they all are very interesting and very sweet!!! DHS says this could be a very LONG situation so just be prepared and we are.  They are now part of the Bowers home doing things our way and they seem content.  The Lord is so good!!!

Fostering set of 2 -- Hangin' on!

Where in the world do I start?  I kind of left everyone hanging and probably wondering what is happening in the Bowers home since taking in the two new foster children.  So------ now for the nitty gritty.  My sweet little 10 year old boy is something else!!  You see about 2 weeks ago I stopped by his old school to TRY to get someone in the office to talk to me about this little guys behaviors.  I thought I would have to beg and plead but no….they ushered me right in and even found someone to watch my two little girls for me why we sat behind a closed door for 1 HOUR!!!! She spilled the beans on everything!!!! I have to say that I am so happy I didn't know this garbage before we got him -- I'm not sure if I would have taken him.  I told him that I visited his old school and had a very interesting conversation with his old principle.  He was not happy!! He said I had no business talking to her.  

I have never seen anything like it.  He has been terrorizing the children at the school. He's been threatening people with knives and saying some pretty spooky things we was going to do with them.  The next day he actually brought the knives to school and chased the kids with an open blade. This poor little boy thought he was gonna die that day.  His language is deplorable!!! His comments are X rated and shocking. No wonder why he was upset that talked to his principle!  This is a 10 year old boy!!! This does give you a birds eye view on how chaotic his life was at his last home without even being there or witnessing it.

Within the first week of him being here at our home -- he and his sister ran away.  The children are able to have visitations with their mom and dad twice a week.  The mom told this little guy to run to a persons house that is by ours ( a few miles away) and once they are there they will come and get them and head to Texas. The boy told the mom that his sister would not be able to keep up with him so the mom actually brought a scooter so the little girl would have wheels to get away on.  I found them around the block and yelled at the top of my lungs "YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS CAR NOW!!!!"  They both ran toward my car for all they were worth.  Thank goodness they are 6 and 10.  Any older and they would have ran for their lives away from me. 

Once we got home I was fuming.  I do believe smoke was coming out my ears.  I do think it is amazing how these little bodies can bring out such an ugly side of me. Anyway-- Once we got home like I said I was fuming!!! This little boy was mouthing off to me.  Saying everything that would just get me madder.  It didn't take me long to realize that I just needed to send this little boy to bed for the night.  If he would have stayed up I would have been tempted to lay my hands on this boy in away that DHS would not approve so I had to get him out of my sight for the time being.  While he was in his room I did go through the backpack that he had on his back (THAT I BOUGHT HIM I MIGHT ADD!!) Once I looked inside the backpack my heart started to get soft and I started to calm down immediately.  I thought I would find things that he would have stole from the house but what I found was not what I thought I would find.  When I opened his backpack I found all of his sisters clothes that he packed for her very neatly.  I had just bough him over $100 in new clothes but hardly anything was for him. It was all for his sister.  Then I found the one thing that almost made me cry.  One of my boys gave him a bible.  There it was -- in his backpack.  Forget his toys, books,  and everything else -- he chose to take the bible that was given to him.  My heart was  mush!! I must talk to this little boy.

I went into his room and he was sobbing in his pillow.  He said "I just wanted to be with my mom".  I lost it!!! These poor little kids have to pay this price because of parents bad decision!!! All the anger that I felt before and the frustration -- well that was gone.  Now it was compassion and trying my best to reach this boy.

Once this incident happened his leash got a lot tighter.  We could not leave him alone with the other children alone for any amount of time, our back gates needed to remain locked, he could not play out front -- only in the back yard where we could visibly see him.  As a few weeks past I could see him starting to relax a little bit.  He would get these smiles that just bless my soul.  He smiles so big his eyes close.  It is so adorable!  I could tell that regardless of these stunts he would pull I was gradually getting attached to this little guy and determined to make a difference in his little life.

So last week I got a call from the school because he got a referral.  He called someone a Mother *****.  He lost all his recesses for a couple of days.  As discipline from us -- he was grounded from his skateboard and he lost his computer time and an early bed time.  He is already on an expulsion contract from his old school because of his deplorable behavior.  They said one more incident and he will be expelled.  So from that time till yesterday he had been really good even at school.  His teachers said he is a model student who does very well and he has not given them any problems even from the time I enrolled him in school while in the classroom.

However yesterday we took several steps back.  From the moment he stepped on the school bus he starting to pick on Joshua (my son).  The other kids were defending Joshua and he was spitting out words.  Then on the playground he was overheard saying he was going to beat Joshua up.  Then in the lunchroom (eating breakfast) he used the "F" word about 20 times.  All these incidences happened before 9am in the morning.  So he is home with "yours truly" today.  He will be writing an apology letter to the principle today.  We had him give his skateboard back to his mom.  That is not welcome in our home until he shapes up.  We will let her know when he can have it back. Also I am getting him counseling.  First thing on Monday we will be in a councilors office.  This little boy is miserable, broken, angry and so sweet all at the same time.  He has been really good at the house for the past three weeks, really good in his classroom = he behaves well with monitored times. So I am trying to work with the school and maybe for a period of time he can eat his lunch in the office, spend recesses in the classroom or in the office and so on until we see a shift in his behavior.

Please pray for this little guy! The Lord loves his children.  This little boy loves to read the bible and loves Jesus.  I know the Lord can transform his life.  Oh!! and pray for us too!!! For patience!!!!  Thanks!!!

Conquering The Laundry Beast!!!

I can not express to you how much I despise laundry.  To make matters worse I cannot stand it when laundry is dumped on my couch to fold.  What happens in my home is the dog ends up making a nest so she can have a nice cozy nap in our clean pile of clothes or it is tossed from one couch to the other as people are looking for a place to sit until someone has time to get to it.  Because the size of our family we do at least 20 loads of laundry a week. This drives me crazy!!  On the older kids chore sheet there is a spot where someone needs to ask me if I need help and that is a usual request.

Recently we got a new placement of two siblings.  This would add to our laundry load and also add to more of the dysfunction that was happening.  I am always tweaking one thing or another to make it run more smoothly.  My laundry room/pantry was one of those areas that has been on my mind.  Our laundry room/pantry is also our entrance into the house.  So going and leaving this was an overwhelming task and very embarrassing when company would come over but FINALLY it is done.

I have had the black laundry baskets in place for a long time now that are under the counter and it has worked well.  It even teaches the little ones how to sort laundry.  They know what is dark and what is white and what is jeans so it makes it easy for them to take care of their own dirty clothes daily as part of their chores.  We actually need another one to say colors (pastels). If they are running out of clothes I know they are not doing their chores and there is consequences for that.  Mostly all the children are very good at this and there is not a problem.

The black baskets at the bottom are for dirty clothes.

I had to work with the space available so not all the baskets match but it is organized and I am content for the time being.  When the laundry is done drying I take out each piece of clothing and place it in the basket of whom it belongs to.  Once I am done with the laundry load the kids come in and take their baskets fold their own clothes and put it away and return the baskets.  I do require them to fold their clothes neatly and place it in their drawer neatly or they will do it over.  

I do have a separate basket for towels, dish clothes, sheets, blankets and so on.  I take care of these myself.  Anyway -- It seems to running just how I imagined.  This was a very big undertaking but alas it is done!!

Next on my list……I need to create a chore sheet for my little girls.  I give them things to do daily but I want it on a chart with their duties just like the 5 older kids have.  I will post the chore chart on another post.

5 of the older kids clean laundry to be folded and put away BY THEM!

The two other black baskets are the three little ones -- I have ages (5,6 and 7 years old).  Maddie and Kendall share a basket because they share clothes.  They wear the same size.  Right now that is not an issue however as they get older that will be something else to figure out.

All the baskets.

 

Transitioning ---Fostering Sibiling Set of 2

I want to apologize for not writing sooner.  To be honest writing was the last thing on my mind.  Getting control of these new kids coming in were my top priority. Its so funny to me how you go through this process and you have in mind the age group you desire because you have this misconception that one age is better than the other however I'm telling you -- just because you receive the age group you requested does not mean they would be any easier than a baby or a 17 year old teenager.

Going into this I knew that we did not want babies.  Don't get me wrong.  I love babies!!! They don't talk back to you and they let you love all over them however babies in our large household would not be a good fit.  Some do not want teenagers.  We have adopted 3 teenagers and they are wonderful! We do have bumpy roads once in a while however I am not gonna complain about them.  We won the luck of the draw or better yet the Lord showed massive mercy on me and blessed my socks off!  My two little girls now 5 and 7 are the most difficult for us.  You would think it would be the other way around and in some/most cases that is true.  Now we have a 6 and a 10 year old that sends me in awe! I will get to them shortly.  I guess going through this the best thing you can do is pray till you have blisters on your knees and memorize the scripture that says God will not give you more than you can handle.  When your going through the valleys --- remember this!!!

Many people have asked me about the 14 year that ran away from the social worker when they were bringing him to my house.  The boy ran to his older brothers house in a nearby town.  He is 21 years old with a 3 month old baby and a very new wife.  I have talked with him many times and he is such a great guy!! He has taken in his 14 year old brother and is getting certified so he can stay there with him.  He feels that he can't take on his two little siblings because first he has to figure out how to parent a 14 year old and the behavior problems of the two little ones is too much for him.  He feels horrible but needs to think of his marriage.  I can totally respect him for having the courage to voice that despite the hurt feeling the little ones may have and guilt that he must carry. I do have him in background really speaking volumes to these little ones letting them know they are in a safe home, telling them to be good for us, if they are good for us then they can see each other more often, etc.  He's really a good role model for all of them.  They all have the same mother -- and this 21 year old was put into foster care when he was 12 years old and later adopted for the same reasons these kids kind themselves in foster care today. Please pray for this family! They are so young but really trying to do the right thing.

I will be sure to continue this in another post.  I really just wanted to give an update on the other boy first. Things are getting better here on the home front but first we had to have some drama. Stay tuned!!!