Finally -- You are Safe and Loved!!!

I don't get it! What would make a parent do the unthinkable to a child.  We have two little twins in our home ( 5 years old) that the unthinkable has been done to them.  I can't give details but lets just say they have been severely abused. One has visible scars on her so there is no getting away from it.  She will be asked questions her whole life what happened to her. The boy has scars too but they are covered easily but most are inside.  Both scars are just as bad and will need many years of therapy to get past it. My children are just a few but so many children are hurting or being hurt. What gives the parent the right to do this!!

Then I ask myself what would make a foster parent do the unthinkable to a child? Domestic abuse,  Favorites, Picking one and moving the other out of her home, bulling, one of them not standing a chance with an adult, and the list goes on.  The foster parent is the one who signed up for this job. The child or children just escaped from one trauma and fear and entered into another fear and the trauma doesn't end.  More scares. The internal dialog that these kids have with themselves when the lights go out -- it must be so tragic!! No wonder why the respect for adults doesn't exist.

I just want to gather all of them, close to me, to protect them from who ever is doing the hurting! STOP!! These are children of the King!! They were created by Him! I bet the Lord is hurting so much more just watching this from Heaven.

Then these children to came to my home.  I could tell deep within them they were afraid, numb, unemotional, disconnected and worried. I don't blame them. Who wouldn't! The papers on them looked daunting. In many ways I wish they didn't come with papers so they had a fresh start but then again you need to be cautious. I was afraid for my animals and my kids in my home. I wasn't even sure if I could do this placement.  I tried my best to make them feel loved and wanted but at the same time watching everything. I put them in their own bedrooms to sleep until I got to know them and their behaviors. Some of their behaviors on paper were so unbelievable I could hardly imagine it taking place.  After a few weeks and the moment was there I very gently asked them about their behaviors (individually) and they did admit that they did do that stuff. I explained to them that they were not in trouble and we were just talking so I didn't want them to feel bad about anything.  Im sure they got enough punishment where they came from. After our talk was over off they go to run and play and be silly. I just sat there in disbelief. This goes to show me that when kids are not getting their basic needs met -- kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unlovable ways.

Today marks 1 month with these children.  I can say to you that I love these kids so much!! I can't imagine them not being here! My husband and I agree that if we can adopt them we will. Its time they exit out of the foster care system. But we need your prayers!This little sibling group has 6 kidos. Actually 8 but DHS believes that all 6 children need to be adopted together.  Even though the thought of this sounds right for this group of siblings it is not the best thing.  They do not have a sibling bond not even the twins that I have.  It is something we are working on daily. All of the kids are split up in two's in good homes that love them and want to adopt them. All these kids are going to need so much therapy for years to come to just be able to get past what has been done to them. There is no way that if someone was to take all 6 children they would get the individual therapy they need. All the foster kids are here in the same area and we bring the kids together once a week. Now that school is starting we are going to have to get creative.  But as foster parents of all these kids we know the importance of bringing these kidos together.  So please pray for us!!!!

By the way these kids are doing great!! They play all day long. They have big belly laughs that would melt your heart in a million pieces!!! Yes -- there have issues but we are working through that.  I love them and as long as God will give me the pleasure to have them they are not going ANYWHERE!!!

Little House on the Prairie -- Medicine for my Home!

Today marks one month since we have had the twin. Thank you everyone who has lifted us up prayer. We can feel them! Let me tell you about a tool that I always introduce my foster children to. I thank the Lord that he made it possible to use something I love so much to help the little ones I fall in love with too.



Your going to think I'm crazy but one thing I usually do when we get foster children in my home is I start the series of Little House on the Prairie. I know many are burnt out of that show but for me as I watch these children -- you learn so much about them as to how they react to the show.  All the kids usually come from some kind of neglect or/abuse.

Watching Ma and Pa care for Mary, Laura and Carrie is priceless.  They see how gentle Pa is with Ma. All they have witnessed is dads abusing moms. How Pa is with his children.  All they have seen is dads yell at the kids, smoking and drinking, swearing, etc. How sweet Ma is to Pa. All they have witnessed is how bad mom treats dad! Then you have children and how Mary, Laura and Carrie love each other and look out for one another. All they have seen is fighting.  It shows them how families can live all together with out violence.

As the shows go on you can see how they have compassion for things, and they get emotional sometimes over things that may happen in the movie. Almost every time I at least hear one or two of them say "I love Pa"!  I know Im a sap and my older kids probably are rolling their eyes at this point. Thats okay!!!

All the kids LOVE this series. Every day they ask "After dinner can we watch Little House?"

M&M Twins!!

I have mentioned before that since our four foster children left to be adopted in Minnesota has been really hard on us.  Through this time we have experienced all the feeling and emotions that go along with foster care. After having our next placement of four children 3 and younger and 3 of them throwing temper tantrums throughout the day -- It made us wonder if this is what we should be doing.  We had lost our joy.

Once we had those 4 precious little ones moved we received a call on a 10 year old boy. That lasted 9 days.  After a physical altercation we had him moved as well.  I will tell you this little boy stole my heart!! I so wish we could have made a difference in him but he needed more help that I could give him.  I got numerous calls asking us to take babies and children younger than what my husband and I agreed to and it either ended in us saying no or the children were placed with relatives.

From March 19 till August 11 we really were scratching our head wondering what the Lord wanted us to do.  Through it all I KNEW God had big plans for us.  Our home just seemed empty.  Even my little girls would ask me "Mom when are we getting more kids! I want to play with them!" I didn't know what to say except "I'm not sure". Even though we have 4 kids in the house right now -- it just seemed too quiet.  My husband would probably disagree with me on that part but I knew kids were missing.

I got a call from DHS asking to take these 5 year old twins boy and girl.  The placement worker didn't know anything about them really.  She was just reading off a piece of paper. She gave me the case workers phone number and I gave her a call.  I have known this caseworker for several years as she was our caseworker for the 3 girls we adopted 4 years ago. So once we chatted for a few minutes I told her that I got a call regarding the M&M twins.  Her words were "You don't wont them Sheri. These little kids are criminal.  The girls is a level 3 and the boy is a level 2 in the CANS." She already had a plan in place to separate them.  The girl was going to a treatment home and the boy would stay with the foster mom they are placed with now because of their physical fighting and other things. She told me about their behaviors and frankly -- I was okay with not taking them.  She was worried for my other kids in the home and for our animals.  These little people have been so abused and mistreated that they need continual in depth counseling.  So I told my husband about what the caseworker said and he agreed that this placement was not for us. That was at 12:00 noon. At 1:00 she calls back.  The conversation went like this. "Hi Sheri this is ****. Remember when I told you I might be calling back in a few days well I know it has not been a few days but I want to give your home a try. Since we planned on separating these twins anyway lets give your home a try and see what happens.  If we have to separate them we will.  My stomach dropped!! I know I didn't have to take these kids but we have taken hard kids before and these are 5 years old!! I reluctantly said okay we will give it a try. We just need all eyes on deck at the house and proceed with caution.

I then talked with the current foster parent.  She had them for 2 months and really had a bad report about the girl. She was bonded with the boy and could tell he was making progress.  She was quiet upset that DHS would place these children together in a home with other children.  I just went with it and listened to her praying this would not be the case in our home.  I knew my God was bigger than all of this.  We made plans to meet up the next day and get the kiddos.

When I saw the twins I thought how beautiful they both were but that can get you into trouble because looks do not make the personality.  I just wanted to get them home and start working.  After transporting all their stuff from their vehicle into ours we put everything in the van and headed home.  The boy got emotional but kept it together.  He kept wiping his eyes to hide he was crying.  I asked if he wanted me to sit in between him and his sister and he shook his head "no". His sister just looked out the window.  Unemotional.

Kids are precious and this tender age doing these hard things --- Oh my!! This is one of the hardest things about this whole process. Is the transitioning from home to another.

They have been in my home since August 11, 2016 -- so four days.  I can tell we have work to do.  I can tell they have A LOT to show me as of behaviors go.  I can also tell you they LOVE animals.  They are soft and gentle with animals.  They love to play with other kids.  Their bond is not strong between them however I feel positive that in time and as they grow that will be repaired. They love to go to church with us! They love to pray before each meal, they are very affectionate.  I can go on and on.  I love these two little people.  They seems happy here.  Event though I am going forward with caution I can also see how they respond to my discipline and when I talk to them have them look at me when I'm addressing them.  I can see their souls.  They are innocent, pure, precious, treasured, loved, adored and cherished.

Please pray for these two little twins.  They have been through so much you would think it was impossible to endure for anyone let along little kids.

We Got The Call I Couldn't Refuse------

These last four months have been so hard on the Bowers home!!! On March 19th we released our 4 angels to go start a wonderful life with their adoptive family in Minnesota.  That was so hard but also so sweet to see them to begin to lay down roots and bond with the family who was going to raise them. I was their mommy for 18 months.  I wasn't sure how I would respond when it actually took place but I give God all the glory for the comfort he gave me during that time.  Watching them load that plane and waving good bye..........so sad but then there was that light at the end of the tunnel for them.  Our home was open once again to see who the Lord would bring.

While we had the 4 fosters we also had another little guy named Little CH.  He was a sweetie but a handful.  He was 3 years old.  Right after the four foster kids left we got a call for 3 more little ones.  We accepted.  It wasn't long before I knew I was completely over my head.  I have 4 children 3 and younger.  3 in diapers!!! Temper tantrums, screaming, early mornings, diapers, did I say diapers........oh my!!!! My home use to be a tight ship -- things in their place -- NO MORE!!! Its shocking how you can move beyond that stage and not even realize it until you are knee deep and then you realize "what in the world am I going to do?" I lasted 1 month with the three kids.  I finally made the call to have the kids moved.  I have been doing this for 5 years and NEVER have I had kids moved.  We even took in teenagers and NEVER did I make the call.  But I could tell my husband was about the snap and I too was about to snap. I was an emotional wreck when making the call to my certifier and through tears and hyperventilating I finally got it out.  Within two days the 3 kids were gone and back with the old foster mom who had them for 9 months before me.  Thank you Jesus that they were able to keep them together and in a wonderful home!!! Then it came to a point where Little CH was not working either.  Our desire is to do siblings but there is no way I could fathom taking on more children when he was in our home. After putting this call off for several months I made the call. DHS started working on it and Praise the Lord he was placed with his old foster mom who he was with for 1 year before me! and to make this whole thing better they want to adopt him!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

Once all of our fosters were gone we decided to take a break until July 1st to regroup and just breath.  I think everyone needs to do that once in awhile.  Once July hit I held my breath.  I knew DHS was desperate for home and I knew my phone would not stop ringing.  Well to my surprise my phone never rang.  The second week went by and it still never rang (from DHS anyways). I called to make sure we were on the board and we were not.  So they put us on the board and I told them Im going to be picky.  I was very specific on the ages, types of kids we were willing to take, etc. My phone never rang!!! My husband and I both took this as a sign from the Lord that he still wants us to rest.  We went on a trip, we did things as a family and just relaxed.  And then I got a call today........

I got a call from the Supervisor of DHS.  I NEVER get calls from her.  In fact I was on a speaker phone and there were other supervisors in the room as well.  They were in a crisis.  They had this 10 year old boy who was flipping out and needed to be moved. They said that they need an experienced home to take him.  They said they think we have the "touch" for kids like this! I told them I need to talk with my husband regarding this and see if he is up to it.  I sat my husband down and told him the situation and he said "this little boy has been through alot!".  He said okay -- if you want to.  I called back the supervisor and said "okay we will give it a shot".  They were very thankful.

About 1 hour later the caseworker called me and told me that they were had to stop at Mental Health with this boy.  They offered him $10 to get in the car and he accepted. They wernt sure if they were going to take him to a behavior home type setting or if he could go to community foster care.  He needed to be evaluated first. They said he was pretty hyped up with kicking and screaming when he got there.  They mentioned my name and he flipped out!!! They told me it was something about my name that got a rise out of him! by this time my stomach is in a knot and I don't know if Im up for this! They said he had headphones on and he would not take them off.  I was picturing a gangster!!! and I was thinking of my family dynamics and what chaos this could bring.  Im not paying this boy to behave!!! The caseworker gave me her number and said "if you need me to pick him up this weekend heres my phone number". I was sitting out in the waiting room not wanting to go into this room with this wild boy!!! I might have a chair thrown at me or something.  Then the door opened and the lady asked me if I wanted to meet him. I prayed!!! I went into this room and there sitting in a chair was this little 10 year old boy.  The cutest little thing you would have ever seen. I introduced myself to him.  He shook my hand and said nice to meet you. When the adults were talking I could see out of my peripheral vision he was staring at me.  I looked at him and I said do you want to go home with me?  He said yes.  He was responding to questions asked and he acted very happy and he was ready to go. He keeps making comments that he is only going to stay for a few days.  And that is okay.  We will take one day at a time.  At least I get to see his good side.  That could turn anytime -- but for today he is a delight to have!!! I love this boy!!!!!

Lord -- You created this little guy!! He's been through alot!!! I pray you help us help him.  I pray we can make a difference!!! Please use us however you wish.  Thank you for this little guy for the time he is with us.

Bittersweet Moments!

Our four foster children have been adopted and are in Minnesota.  This all happened in March.  They were with us 18 months.  It was one of our longest placements so far.  To remember when they first came to me and to look at where they are today is a complete miracle. I remember clearly the oldest (7 years old) holding a hair brush and looking at it like a foreign object and asking me "what do I do with this?".  To when they left me the progress they made with watching them getting ready for school in the morning.  Knowing what they do first, second, third and then walking them out to the bus. With this placement it was almost like teaching them at the ages of 2 years old how to brush your teeth, brush your hair, how to get dressed, how much toilet paper you should use -- and yes you do need to use toilet paper, to how much you should eat and gorging yourself is not good for your body....on and on training day in and day out on the simplest of things. Seeing how they get it and now because they have been doing this for so long its a part of who they are and what they do.  Its like riding a bike and starting with training wheels and then taking the wheels off and pretty soon your riding that bike with no hands!! What an exciting moment to watch!! They all LOVE Jesus and want to please Him everyday! Our mission (this mission) is complete. Its been a tough road but when it is all said and done -- those four little people are my babies. They will always be in my heart!  They are in good hands now and in a home that will love them and for that I am forever thankful! Maybe one day we can make it to Minnesota and visit them!

 I am indeed so lucky and blessed to have something that means so much that making saying Goodbye was so hard!! I love you my dear Price children!! You have changed me in to a better person in deed!!

I have posted a couple of posts on my blog before to show their journey.  You can go back and read some of my earlier posts to get their story.

Halloween -- Satan Wants Evil To Look So Sweet And Freindly! Beware!!

The day is coming fast that always gives me an ill feeling in my gut.  As the years goes by the feeling getting more and more intense.  As much as I try to sheild my children from it I fail.  Its at every turn.  Its in the grocery stores, its on TV, its covering the houses as you drive by.  Its everywhere! Our world is so evil and its getting more evil by the hour.  Its gonna get worse before it gets better. Parents our children need our direction and protection regardless if they want it. Please click on the link and read it!!!
http://ddasullivan.blogspot.com/2011/09/friendly-captivity-beth-moore-has-bible.html

Thanks for reading!!!!
Sheri

Update On Our 4 Foster Children

 

The saying above is so true!!! But is so scary on both ends!!!! This is where you need to trust in the Lord.  He's got you in the palm of his hand.  He knows the beginning and the ending.


Thank you so much for not giving up on me!! It has been forever since I updated you on our situation.  So long that I almost forgot my password! I had to use major brain power to remember. 

Nine months later we still have these angels. The Lord has been so faithful to all of us.  He has taking me on a growth journey too.  Looking back at my first post I told you that I was angry.  In most cases I do get there If its meth or some other drug that is tearing these families apart.  But the anger is gone.  Now I feel compassion for these people because they are dealing with a mental problem that is far beyond their control.  Even on medication it is not enough to help them to be reuinited with their children.  These kids LOVE their parents!! Most children do even if they do come from hair raising experiences. 

The mom turned to me at the visitation center the other day and it spooked me.  She said with the most non emotional expression and said "If we can't have our children I want you to have them".  I was expecting her to break down crying at this point in order to talk about this subject.  Instead I was the one who was biting my lip trying not to break down.  I told her that I was not upset at her or her husband for this.  I reassured her that we do love these kids so much.  She acknowledged that her children love us and are attached to us. I lay awake at night and try to comprehend the disconnect I sensed from her that day.  As a mom of 13 children I just dont get it and I have pitty for them.  My heart wrenches for them.  I do believe my heart hurts for them and their kids far more than their heart hurts for their children and themselves.

We found out that Little P had fluid behind her ear drum.  Her ear drums were not working at all.  She had been living in a tunnel for a very long time.  Now she has tubes in her ears.  I never thought I would be happy to hear her use her voice.  She actaully talks at a volume where I have ask her to "talk quieter".   Her appetite has improved and she hasn't been sick for awhile now.  I feel like she is once and for all full of laughter, love and life!!

There is a reletive who lives in Minnasota who is interested in the four.  They are actually leaving for two weeks in about a week to meet the reletives. If all goes well they will be the ones that adopt them.  They have never met them before. The Lord knows where these kids need to be.

Anyway-- Im gonna end this post here but I really am going to try to post more. Please keep up in your prayers as our journey with these little ones is getting closer to the end.