Parenting : Kids Want Your Time -- Part 2

As you have probably read in my earlier posts "Kids Want Your Time" I have really been trying to spend time with each of my 6 children.  Doing this is hard because of what is going on at the house however taking a pause never hurts!

Last night was Joshua's turn to have his special time.  At first I was thinking maybe an hour or so but it turned into 2 hours which was a perfect time spent.  We left at 6:30pm and my goal was to be back at 8:30pm.  He decided to go Geocaching.  We first stopped at Dutch Brothers and got us a large Blueberry pomegranate smoothie! Yummy!!!

We decided to head to Jacksonville which is 5 minutes from the house.  We tried to find two caches that were by the Chamber of Commerce. We looked and looked and decided that we were spending two much time on these catches so we decided to move on to another one. There are several in Jacksonville so we just walked to our next one. Keep in mind we are very new so it needs to be pretty simple -- a one star cache. The hint said "It is not in the corral". We looked for about 10 minutes. I couldn't believe that we actually found one!!! Joshua was looking though the can and decided to take the pad and pen.  Here is Joshua with his Cache.

Joshua's First Find!!!

Things Inside

We still had about an hour left before I thought we should head home.  It was starting to get dark but we continued on our way.  This next find was near the museum.  I was kind of puzzled because there were no bushes to hide something in but we found it!  It was tucked up under a pole in a magnetic key holder. I was so excited when I felt up under the pole. I tried to keep my excitement under control but I shouted "Joshua -- I found it!! Maybe the whole town of Jacksonville heard me!! This one required you to sign your name and put the date you found it. As you can see the flashlight was on.  This was so much fun!!

Our Second Find For The Night

If you are not familiar with it -- look it up.  It is so much fun for all ages!! It is a treasure hunt throughout the country.  In your city there are several treasures.  The levels of hunting are easy, intermediate and difficult. You will need a smart phone to be successful. Usually the more difficult the smaller the catch is. Usually -- you open the container.  It has several treasures in there.  You take one and leave one for someone else.  There should also be a notebook and a pen in there to sign your name and date you found it.

Once we got back to the car it dawned on me the notebook and pen that Joshua took from the first cache we found that we needed to check that quick!! I told him to open it.  Sure enough that was the notebook that people write their name in and the date!! I said we were beginners!!! I told him we need to return it now!! Oh My! I can't believe we almost took that.  The earliest date found on this catch was 2009.  So we made a quick trip back to our first catch spot and put that back in the can and Joshua chose a pin that said "Geocaching Block Party!".  He put in a string of different color paint.

I am looking forward to next week! My other son wants to go Geocaching on his time!

Parenting: Chores For All!!

 It surprises me when people approach me and ask how do I maintain a house with so many children.  Or they have even approached my children and ask them how do I do it!! Talk about nail biting!! I hope my kids don't make me look too bad!! Yes, I still have a lot of things to work through.  I am not a perfect house keeper but I do thrive on organization.  I am always making charts and tweaking this and tweaking that.  I also know that my home is not a military home either.  We have unmade beds, etc.

In all of the things when it comes to raising kids one of things that has been very hard for me to do is implement chores.  I am VERY good at starting something however the follow through has a lot to be desired. My husband and I are a blended family.  So he has a daughter from a previous marriage and I have two sons from a previous marriage.  We have 1 biological son between us and then we adopted 5 children within the past two years. That makes 9 children.

When my two kids from my previous marriage were little they never had chores.  I never grew up with chores.  I think that is pretty much how that is -- you pass down to your kids how you were raised. However my husband did.  The chores he had was very demanding which included chopping fire wood, stacking it and bringing it to the house.  Also they had to maintain a huge garden. His mom ran a very ordered home.  There are some things I admire about how she ran her home.

My husband now has a great work ethic and is not afraid of "labor" jobs.  His growing up really shape him into what he is today.  I can see the effect on my older kids how I did not do them any favors by not giving them responsibilities when they were younger.  Don't get me wrong -- I don't think you should over work your children.  But I do think children should have responsibilities.

Once we adopted the two children two years ago -- just by adding in numbers I could see that I could not maintain things like I use to.  For some reason it was not as hard this time getting this chore board in place.  Once I did.....I was so happy!!! It helped out so much.  By the kids taking some of the things that I had to do on a daily basis freed up time so I could do other things.  Once we adopted the three children the other kids were already in the habit of doing their chores which made it easier for the newest addition. Here is what we came up with that seems to work for us.

As you can see where I put "Kid #1 and so on -- all of our kids names are on here. There are also four rows.  1 row represents each week. On Sundays we put a tab to what week we are in. We start at the top and work our way down week by week. Also you might notice where it says "Ask mom if she needs help" or "ask dad if he needs help".  I use to be very lenient with this chore.  The kids loved having this chore because I usually was too busy to think of something they could do for me.  Then it occurred to me -- This comes in real handy!! There are times when I am doing my thing during in the day and I think -- hey the kids can help me with this so I will write it down on a list for my eyes only.  Even though I might think I can remember from day to day there have been so many times when they come to me and I can't think of anything they can do.  I pick one thing for them to help me with.  maybe its -- getting the clothes out of the dryer and folding it, sifting the cat box, unloading the groceries from the car....anything that you might need help with. Now they dread it because they know I will always have something for them to do.  Some days it is real easy and some days it might take them 10 minutes to do.  My husband also has them do things like sweeping off the patio, helping him in the garage....just anything he might need help with.

Also there are a few things that we have only the boys do such as the dog chore and the things we have the girls do is clean the bathroom because they do a far better job at it!

One other thing we do is in order for the kids to have 1 hour of computer time all their chores must be done.  All computers are shut down by 7:30 unless they are working on a school assignment.

One thing I have not done yet is get my 5 and 6 year old on the chore system.  They can do little things like make their bed, put their dirty clothes in the laundry, clean their room, set the table, etc.

We don't give any of our children allowance.  If we see kids going over and beyond and putting extra effort in their work we will reward them with money -- how ever much we feel we can give.  The kids just know that they chores are their contribution to help run the home.

Here is a chore sheet that I made for myself.  I am really trying to stick to this.  I made several copies and put the in the laundry room, in my bathroom (taped to the inside of my cupboard) and several other places where company wont see them or the kids but I don't have to keeping walking back to one place to make sure I have done everything I need to.

So there you have it!!! Hope this was some help!!

Adoption: Kids Want Your Time

 I will be first to tell you that I am not writing this as to give anyone expert advice.  I am writing this because this is an area that I need to drastically improve.  I know I can do better.   Many of you know we have a large family.  One of the things that have been pressing up on my mind is to establish strong relationships with in our home.  Not only the relationship with the siblings but also with me and my children.  I am forever trying to hone in on things that are a miss.  I am constantly tightening down the hatches when I see things that need improving in the running of my home. Some call me an organizer however just between you and me I also have a messy streak that drives me crazy!! I can list plenty examples but then that would really make me look bad. :)

Believe it or not ALL my kids are always asking me -- "Mom, I want special time with you".  Can you believe that? Sad to say it is usually right when I am in the middle of making dinner for the family or when I am in the middle of paying bills they tell me they want time. Most of the times I am left with guilt of saying "not now".  However this really has spurred me to figure something out!!

Not to long ago I had to take one of my foster kidos up to Portland to the CDRC (Child Development Rehabilitation Center).  One of the therapist told me that it is imperative that I carve out special times with each one of my children. It would be tough since I have 6 children under my roof but it can be done.  It does not have to be every day but I do need to make it a priority.  For the little girls ages (5 and 6) She said take 20 minutes and set a timer.  Let them know on this day and time that you will have our special time.  You play what ever that child wants to play within reason and as long as it is safe.  Even if my little girls wants me to play the husband (as long as there is no kissing and things like that) I am to do it. They will have so much FUN!!!

I have been surfing the web for things to do.  This link says its for girls however there are tons of things to do with boys too. Check out the link Things To Do with Kids (Pinterest). There are tons of things on the web that you can find if you can't think of anything. Here are some fun things that I plan on doing with the little ones.  *play house *tea party *paint nails *read books *take a walk *ice cream at McDonalds *snuggle time *pick flowers -- There are tons to do that doesn't cost a dime (except for McD's) -- just time. I thinking of doing this once a week.

The older ones I was going to give one hour of  individual time.  For our schedule I am thinking about having each child pick one day a month maybe two-Tuesday or Thursday.  Those two days of the week seem to be the only down times in our schedule right now. With my four older ones I can picture them wanting to go to *dairy queen and talk *dutch brothers and talk * bike ride *go to the mall or something else they request.  I am always thinking low cost.  The other day I took my two girls to the mall.  I had a small amount of cash on me.  I am trying desperately to only use cash these days and not the debit card. I told them "Okay you can have $7.50 each".  Ha!! I know funny huh!! We went into Debs and was looking through the clearance rack and one of my daughters found 3 shirts that came to $7.00.  My other daughter is not much of a shopper but she found 1 shirt for $2.50!! They had the best time.  I can't really picture my boys doing this so we will have to do something else. I know they will want to me play video games or work on a puzzle with them. Now that I am talking about this I think I am going to like this!!!  Also---Don't forget about family time!! I am also going to designate a week night to play a board game!!  Memories in the making!!!  Who's with me?

What are somethings that you all do?  A lot of people are reading this blog and I am sure they need some suggestions as well as myself.  So please share in the comment section!!!!

Blessings!!!

Monster Cookies for Hungry Kids

With three of my kids away at school and three kids here at the house I decided to whip out my mixer and make some Monster Cookies.  This will make for some happy kids when they come home.  My husband will be one happy camper too!  I am not much a baker however I love the thought of cooking!! Does this count?  At least you know as long as I just "think" about it I won't burn anything or dirty any dishes!!   Anyway -- lately I have been in the kitchen a lot trying out different recipes.  I love the Pioneer Woman! If you haven't heard of her -- look her up!! She makes some down to earth recipes.  My littles call her the "Pineapple Woman".  I always get a huge smile on my face every time they ask "mom can we watch the Pineapple woman?  So funny!!

Here is the recipe.  I usually double almost every recipe I use because of the size of my family.  I cannot believe how easy this one is. The anticipation of pulling these out of the oven is indescribable!!!

MONSTER COOKIES

1/2 stick butter (room temp)
1/2 C light brown sugar
1/4 C Sugar
3/4 C Creamy peanut butter
1 egg
1 tsp Vanilla
1/2 tsp Baking soda
1 1/4 C flour
1/2 C quick oats
3/4 C M&M's
1/2 C Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven at 350* Stir together butter and sugars then add your peanut butter. Mix in your egg and vanilla.  Slowly mix in baking soda and flour.  Then add your quick oats, M&M's and Chocolate chips. Cook for 10 minutes maybe a little longer depends on how thick and big you make them. (I didn't have any M&M's so I just measured 3/4 C more of chocolate chips and they were great!!) Enjoy!!!

School Is Here!!

Today is the beginning of yet another school year! WOW! Is summer break over all ready?  The kids are excited to start however I know that that excitement will not last long.  This years funds are extremely short so we had to really shop on a budget.  Somehow we were able to get all kids school clothes with the help of major sales happening and a blessed woman donated some gorgeous clothes to my older girls!! Thank you Lord for that!!

In our new house we have a pantry.  It’s a small room built off of the garage.   I decided to claim a couple shelves for school supplies.  It seemed that when the supplies were available to the children they would get a new spiral notebook weekly and pencils were gone before you knew it! Things were just picked though leaving just a few items where I would need to replace them often.  I am still finding half used or barley used spiral notebooks from last year.  This time it will be a little different.  The rule of the pantry is….no kids allowed in the pantry unless mom or dad sends them in there for something.  This really helps keep things from disappearing and I have a better idea of what is in there since it is mainly myself who gets items out or sends kids in for something.

School Supply Shelves In My Pantry

The other day I took kids out to the pantry two at a time and we went school shopping.  They told me what they needed and 9 times out of 10 it was there.  I think for my high school girls there were only about 2 or so more items that they needed from the store.  It was great and it felt so good!

This year our schooling looks different from last year.  My two 15 year olds will be going to the locale high school. They are sophomores. We live about 1/2 mile from there so they will be walking.  My husband and I really prayed about this moment.  Last year they started out at the locale high school but only lasted about 6 weeks.  I ended up enrolling them in Connections Academy so they were able to be home with me.  By doing this they were able to deal with issues of their past and not worry about the daily drama of high school.  This year I believe it will be different.  They are mentally ready to walk through those double doors with Jesus by their side even though he is not welcome there.  Yes, we have had many talks about their walk, their words and there morals and how it is crucial they do not compromise.  My girls actually talked with me and told me of how they are feeling about this and as their mom could not be more proud of my ladies!!!

My 11 year old boy and my 14 year old boy are going to be doing Connections Academy.  We did this last year and they like it.  Yes it is demanding, yes it is structured and yes there is accountability.  All those things sound negative to a homeschooling mom however this is what I need to make sure my kids get an education.  I need that structure, I need that accountability and I like that it makes my children think about what they are studying.  They need that challenge.  They both did very well last year and didn't bat a eye when I let them know we were doing Connection Academy this year.  In fact they were so happy!!!

Joshua's Work Center

Nemo's Work Center

We have their work centers in the house almost complete. They will add to it as they go through the year.  I put up helpful tools to aid them as they work through their assignments.  For example I posted up on both work centers the parts of speech and listed an example of those.  Also I posted what their teachers require in each subject. 

My 5 and 6 year old will be attending the locale elementary this year.  The 5 year old is in kindergarten.  She is so excited!!! She has orientation today but actually starts on Monday.  She is very disappointed about that!!  My 6 year old has been approved for the MAPS class.  Little K needs special help beyond the few hours she spends with the aid at the school.  The MAPS class is a self contained classroom.  They have their own bathroom and playground area. They meet the children where they are.  Little K has many different struggles.  Hopefully she will grow by leaps and bounds this year with the concentrated help.  These two little ones are still considered foster children so they want them to be in a public school this year.  Next year I will decide if I should homeschool them or not since the adoption is almost final.  Praise the Lord!!!

Happy Schooling!!!!!!

Adoption: Parenting

The words mercy, tender, laughing, soft, gentle, sensitive, fun, easy going, kind, compassionate, quiet are all things that keep ringing through my mind.  All these areas sometimes I am so lacking and believe me Satan is there to make them flash bright to let me know that I stink as a person and need work.  He makes sure that I am GUILTY!

The other night I shared with my husband about what was really on my mind.  After all he lives with me and sees me raising our children.  Through my tears I was explaining to him that I do not want my children growing up afraid of their mom.  Our lives are a legacy we are leaving behind for our children.  When I am gone what will they remember?  What will they say about me as a mom? I asked him how he thought I was as a parent.  He was very quick to remind me that not everyone can do what we do.  We have taken in 5 children who desperately needed boundaries and guidance.  Thank you for that reminder!! I did need to hear that.

Let me first tell you that I know I am doing something right.  I know that the Lord loves me despite my inadequacies.  We have 9 children and 5 of them are adopted or should I say 2 adopted and 3 at the final adoption stage.  All of my children are great kids.  All of them have come from broken homes including my biological children (except for Joshua my 11 year old).  My 3 older kids (Two that are 22 and 18 year old are thriving and doing well).  I watch my 14 and 15 year old girls and they are thriving in the Lord and love everyone.  No-- they did not come to us that way.  They both came to us broken and angry.  My 14 year old boy had the life ambition of being a gang member.    He now is a Young Marine and loves the Lord. My 11 year old boy loves the Lord with all of his heart!! At 11 he wears a purity ring because he wants a reminder that his mind needs to be focused on pure things. My two little girls are sponges.  They love Jesus and love to sing sing sing!! The Lord has defiantly blessed us with such great kids.  All my kids are the best of friends and get along beautifully.  Yes we do have the "he said, she said…" and the squabbles at times.  However NEVER are there any fist fight (I believe that is only because we do not allow them to wrestle or touch each other unless it is to give hugs or pats on the back type thing).  So I know my parenting is not all warped.  However I do know there is much improving to do.  

My husband works outside the home.  I have never been they type of mom who says "you wait until your dad gets home….". I have always been the disciplinarian.  I am to the point and direct -- eye contact.  I feel this is so automatic that there are times where I walk away from a situation and things come crashing into my mind. I often think to myself "calm down --I wish I handled that just a little bit different."  

There are few people on my friends list who are Godley wonderful people who have that soft gentle spirit.  I do believe that God puts people in our lives that we can look up to and see what we can become.  I want to be Christ like!! Can you have that soft gentle spirit when dealing with children and their disobedience?  My children listen to me and they do what I ask and I feel respected 100% of the time by all of them.  My fear is that if I have that gentle soft spirit with them all of the time --will they still give me the respect?  I know they are not afraid of me and they love on me all of the time.  However they do know that there is a red line and mom is not going to disregard it.

I know there are things about me and personality that are very valuable in raising children and there are things that I need to change about myself.  I do believe as I change those things my relationship with the Lord will grow stronger and deeper because I will depend on HIM more to be my leader in raising these children as my husband and myself follow Him.  

So if you could -- please pray that my spirit becomes soft and meek. 

Galatians 5:22

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-contro