Monday, September 2, 2013

Adoption: Parenting






The words mercy, tender, laughing, soft, gentle, sensitive, fun, easy going, kind, compassionate, quiet are all things that keep ringing through my mind.  All these areas sometimes I am so lacking and believe me Satan is there to make them flash bright to let me know that I stink as a person and need work.  He makes sure that I am GUILTY!

The other night I shared with my husband about what was really on my mind.  After all he lives with me and sees me raising our children.  Through my tears I was explaining to him that I do not want my children growing up afraid of their mom.  Our lives are a legacy we are leaving behind for our children.  When I am gone what will they remember?  What will they say about me as a mom? I asked him how he thought I was as a parent.  He was very quick to remind me that not everyone can do what we do.  We have taken in 5 children who desperately needed boundaries and guidance.  Thank you for that reminder!! I did need to hear that.

Let me first tell you that I know I am doing something right.  I know that the Lord loves me despite my inadequacies.  We have 9 children and 5 of them are adopted or should I say 2 adopted and 3 at the final adoption stage.  All of my children are great kids.  All of them have come from broken homes including my biological children (except for Joshua my 11 year old).  My 3 older kids (Two that are 22 and 18 year old are thriving and doing well).  I watch my 14 and 15 year old girls and they are thriving in the Lord and love everyone.  No-- they did not come to us that way.  They both came to us broken and angry.  My 14 year old boy had the life ambition of being a gang member.    He now is a Young Marine and loves the Lord. My 11 year old boy loves the Lord with all of his heart!! At 11 he wears a purity ring because he wants a reminder that his mind needs to be focused on pure things. My two little girls are sponges.  They love Jesus and love to sing sing sing!! The Lord has defiantly blessed us with such great kids.  All my kids are the best of friends and get along beautifully.  Yes we do have the "he said, she said…" and the squabbles at times.  However NEVER are there any fist fight (I believe that is only because we do not allow them to wrestle or touch each other unless it is to give hugs or pats on the back type thing).  So I know my parenting is not all warped.  However I do know there is much improving to do.  

My husband works outside the home.  I have never been they type of mom who says "you wait until your dad gets home….". I have always been the disciplinarian.  I am to the point and direct -- eye contact.  I feel this is so automatic that there are times where I walk away from a situation and things come crashing into my mind. I often think to myself "calm down --I wish I handled that just a little bit different."  

There are few people on my friends list who are Godley wonderful people who have that soft gentle spirit.  I do believe that God puts people in our lives that we can look up to and see what we can become.  I want to be Christ like!! Can you have that soft gentle spirit when dealing with children and their disobedience?  My children listen to me and they do what I ask and I feel respected 100% of the time by all of them.  My fear is that if I have that gentle soft spirit with them all of the time --will they still give me the respect?  I know they are not afraid of me and they love on me all of the time.  However they do know that there is a red line and mom is not going to disregard it.

I know there are things about me and personality that are very valuable in raising children and there are things that I need to change about myself.  I do believe as I change those things my relationship with the Lord will grow stronger and deeper because I will depend on HIM more to be my leader in raising these children as my husband and myself follow Him.  

So if you could -- please pray that my spirit becomes soft and meek. 

Galatians 5:22
 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-contro

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