The words mercy, tender, laughing, soft, gentle, sensitive,
fun, easy going, kind, compassionate, quiet are all things that keep ringing
through my mind. All these areas
sometimes I am so lacking and believe me Satan is there to make them flash
bright to let me know that I stink as a person and need work. He makes sure that I am GUILTY!
The other night I shared with my husband about what was
really on my mind. After all he lives
with me and sees me raising our children. Through my tears I was explaining to him that
I do not want my children growing up afraid of their mom. Our lives are a legacy we are leaving behind
for our children. When I am gone what
will they remember? What will they say
about me as a mom? I asked him how he thought I was as a parent. He was very quick to remind me that not
everyone can do what we do. We have
taken in 5 children who desperately needed boundaries and guidance. Thank you for that reminder!! I did need to
hear that.
Let me first tell you that I know I am doing something right.
I know that the Lord loves me despite my
inadequacies. We have 9 children and 5
of them are adopted or should I say 2 adopted and 3 at the final adoption stage.
All of my children are great kids. All of them have come from broken homes
including my biological children (except for Joshua my 11 year old). My 3 older kids (Two that are 22 and 18 year
old are thriving and doing well). I
watch my 14 and 15 year old girls and they are thriving in the Lord and love
everyone. No-- they did not come to us
that way. They both came to us broken
and angry. My 14 year old boy had the
life ambition of being a gang member. He now
is a Young Marine and loves the Lord. My 11 year old boy loves the Lord with
all of his heart!! At 11 he wears a purity ring because he wants a reminder
that his mind needs to be focused on pure things. My two little girls are
sponges. They love Jesus and love to
sing sing sing!! The Lord has defiantly blessed us with such great kids. All my kids are the best of friends and get
along beautifully. Yes we do have the
"he said, she said…" and the squabbles at times. However NEVER are there any fist fight (I
believe that is only because we do not allow them to wrestle or touch each
other unless it is to give hugs or pats on the back type thing). So I know my parenting is not all warped. However I do know there is much improving to
do.
My husband works outside the home. I have never been they type of mom who says
"you wait until your dad gets home….". I have always been the
disciplinarian. I am to the point and
direct -- eye contact. I feel this is so automatic that
there are times where I walk away from a situation and things come crashing
into my mind. I often think to myself "calm down --I wish I handled that just
a little bit different."
There are few people on my friends list who are Godley
wonderful people who have that soft gentle spirit. I do believe that God puts people in our lives
that we can look up to and see what we can become. I want to be Christ like!! Can you have that
soft gentle spirit when dealing with children and their disobedience? My children listen to me and they do what I
ask and I feel respected 100% of the time by all of them. My fear is that if I have that gentle soft
spirit with them all of the time --will they still give me the respect? I know they are not afraid of me and they love
on me all of the time. However they do
know that there is a red line and mom is not going to disregard it.
I know there are things about me and personality that are
very valuable in raising children and there are things that I need to change
about myself. I do believe as I change
those things my relationship with the Lord will grow stronger and deeper
because I will depend on HIM more to be my leader in raising these children as my
husband and myself follow Him.
So if you could -- please pray that my spirit becomes soft
and meek.
Galatians 5:22
But
the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, 23 gentleness
and self-contro
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