The further we get into this the more I am learning about
these children and what they had to endure.
It is pretty sad the state won't let you in on anything. You kind of have to figure out their story on
your own. Straight adoption through DHS
is much different. You are given papers
on papers telling as much story as they know about them.. Foster care is so
different. All we were given was a
placement paper showing the girls first, middle and last name, whether they are
female or male, their birth date and possible exposure to drugs and
alcohol. Nothing more.
I am sure that if you talk to different people from DHS they
will share information that in someone elses opinion was "too much
information". The reason for my frustration
is I want to help these children the best I can. Without knowing their background I am
operating blind and feeling my way through this. I am hoping to adopt them. Should the Lord choose to send them else
where, I want to help them through this as much as I can.
Yesterday I got off the phone with the eye doctor for Little
M. I told her I was their new foster mom
and she took in a deep breath. She asked
"so they are not with the other lady who brought them in last time?" I said "no -- they are with us
now". She began to share with me
that every time they came in she knew something was not right. She knew something was wrong and was debating
on calling the authorities. She would
second guess her thoughts and wonder if she was reading into things more than
what they really were. They would come
in very dirty with hair a mess. She was
really rough with them and would grab them by the arm to get their attention. She said she would talk really strong with
them in the office thinking that the staff could not hear her but she was
swearing at the kids. She was just a
real mean lady. This lady I was talking
to would see her around town digging through trash cans for cans to cash in. One time they called to her house to schedule
an appointment with Little M and she could hear this man in the background
yelling and swearing at the top of his lungs at these little girls. She said that she needs to trust her gut
feelings more and feels guilty that she never called but so relieved DHS did
step in. The more I talked with this
lady she was elated that they closed down that foster home and are in another
home. DHS would not share with me at all
as to what type of home they had been removed from.
You think well ask the children what kind of home that
was. That does sound logical right? These little girls will start with a story
and add to it. They would tell me that
they were hit, slapped and they would go on and on. Then one of them says
"and then she shot me!" and
the other one would say "Yes! She shot me too! right in the head."
and other would say "yep-- she shot me in the head too!" Well I may not know much but I do know they
were not shot. So now what part of the
story to do you believe? The day after
they got here my daughter came to me and told me that they told her that I hit
them. This was scary because they don't
realize that these words can have them removed from our home. I did not hit her and would not hit her. So we are working on telling true
stories.
Each new day is a huge learning process for all of us. The girls are doing good. Miss J will be back soon. Please pray for her that she will find a
peace here. Pray that she will find a
peace in her soul!! And pray for my little story tellers too!!!
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