I am writing this post just mainly to vent and to "let
go" of my frustrations. When I do
write it does help to let out some of my feelings. I can tell I have a lot built up that
sometimes I feel like I am going to burst. Yesterday was a really hard day at
the Bowers home. To give you an idea let
me share with you.
For some reason Little K will not potty in her pants while
she is at school. She gets on the bus at
10:50 and doesn't come home until 3pm. She
comes home completely dry every day. It
is really encouraging to see her making so much progress. She has made comments to me that if she wets
her pants people will laugh at her and make fun of her. Sad to say -- that is correct. Kids can be very mean and will pick on other
kids. However at home if I am not
reminding her to go potty she will potty in her pants every time. After going through the weekend of numerous wet
pants, I was looking forward to Monday because at least she will raise her hand
in school and run to the bathroom when she has to go.
To back up a bit........On Friday we decided to go have an
enjoyable dinner at Hometown Buffet. We
don't go out that much any more because it cost nearly $100.00 for us to go out
to a sit down dinner and McDonalds were looking at around $60.00 for a meal. Both older girls were at a mountain top
retreat so we decided to treat ourselves too. While we were waiting in line we bumped in to
one of our relatives. They handed my
husband 2 coupons! After paying our bill it came to $47.00!! What a steal!! Anyway
on our drive there Little K was saying she had to go potty. It told her to hold it and she is being so big
by not going in her pants. My husband
let me out with the two girls and we run to the bathroom while he waits in
line. While in the bathroom I take
Little K in a stall and I never let her lock it because I am tired of crawling
underneath the door! She goes inside and
says I'm done! I look in and she has not even pulled her pants down and sat
down. I told her "you haven't even
sat down yet. Sit on that potty." She pulls her pants down sits on the potty
and goes potty. I can't believe it! We would have had to come home if I did not
catch that one.
There have been numerous times when I send her in to go potty
and she says "I tried and I can't go". I reply "just sit there for a
moment. No more than those words come
out and she is going potty.
Yesterday of course she woke up wet which is not a battle
for me. I don't even try to combat that
one right now until we figure out the "day time" problem. I had to go to the Social Security office
yesterday to get new cards for the two children we adopted last year. I should have done this a long time ago
however it was something that I was procrastinating about but FINALLY I did it
and it was so easy afterwards I was wondering WHY I put that off so long. It was a stress that didn't need to be there. Anyway -- blah blah
blah.......................My two wonderful 14 year olds helped me with the
children while I ran my errand. Before I
even left at 10:00 she had wet her pants 2 times. After I left she had wet her pants again. I told Alicia to put her in her school
clothes 20 minutes before she went out to the bus. While she was out at the bus she wet her pants
again. They brought her in to change her
clothes. They ended up missing the bus. I finally got home at 12:10pm and took her to
school. On my way there I remembered Little M was coming home at 12:25pm. I called home and told Miss J she needs to be
out waiting for the bus at 12:20 just in case she comes home early and I am not
back yet. I drop Little K off at school
rush back home and pull in the driveway at 12:21pm. I decided to sit there and wait for Little
M. I wanted to see what time Miss J was
actually going to come outside to wait for the bus. It was a test.
So I sit and sit and sit. At
12:40pm the bus still has not come and Miss J is not coming outside. Yes I was a little mad. I call the school and find out if the bus is
running late. Nope -- they left on
time. I get a call right back and they
say -- we already dropped her off with her sister. I can't believe it!! Boy did
I feel stupid!! I go inside the house
and Little M is already asleep in her bed and Miss J had gone out there at
12:15 to wait for her. So much for my "test". It back fired on me! Okay -- So at 3:00pm there was about 5 people
coming to the house for a wrap meeting for Miss J. This is a pretty big deal. This is held once a month and it is a support
team that we have in place. 3 to 5
people come Jackson County Mental Health, DHS, CASA worker, Counselors and so
on. At 2:30 I get a call from the school
saying that Little K has wet her pants for the 2nd time and they cannot put her
on the bus with wet pants-- she needs to be picked up. I am in disbelief!! She has not done this
since I put he in big girl pants on January 7th. So really quick I pick her up and I back home
10 minutes before everyone arrives. I
get her changed and I send her to her room. People start arriving and about 10 minutes
into the meeting I go check on her and she is wet again. I finally put a pull up on her and I am
holding back tears. I just cannot
believe this. It is not even 4:00 and
she has gone through 6 pairs of underwear and pants. Good thing I just did laundry!! And of course when ever she has a pull up on
she goes potty in her pull up. She will
not even attempt to go on her own. It is
a portable toilet for her. I am tired of fighting this battle for the day. She only has so many so many clothes.
So last night after all the kids were in bed that is when I
broke. Yes it is frustration but it is
more WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! She is 6 years old today and there is a MAJOR
disconnect going on. I have been trying
this and trying that for 9 months consistently. I am in disbelief! It does not make sense to me. Hours and hours
researching on the computer possible ways to help her. Reading book after book begging for
answers. We have praised her, we have
used the sticker program, the discipline program, going to bed early program,
ballroom gown program and on and on and on. You name it we have tried it. I just don't get it.
My husband shocks me sometimes. I can be so upset over something and he is
mister calm, cool and collected. He says
"how much more are you going to put yourself through until we find out
what is really wrong? Put her in pull
ups until then." He is not always
like that but I think that is what shocks me sometimes. Of course he is right but I just don't want to
undo what she has accomplished over the 9 months.
I am one of those people who I admit -- if there was a 6
year old who potty their pants just let them come to my house -- they wouldn't
be doing that for long. Well this little
girls has proved to me I am not all that! Judging always seems to come back to
bite me.
On May 6 she is scheduled to go to the CDRC (Child Rehabilitation
Center in Eugene
After last night of letting all my feeling out to my poor
husband I came to realize why I was so frustrated. I don't want Little K to go through life
feeling inferior to her pears. I want
her to have confidence. I want he to be successful. She is so innocent and so little at just 6
years old that I know she can get there. I don't know why she is not potty
trained. I don't know why she can't talk
like a 6 year old. I don't know a lot of things but the Lord does. I know as we follow the Lord to guide her in
all HIS ways she will live a fulfilling life.
I do hate it that I can't help her or "fix" this problem right
now. But in time hopefully this will all
be behind us.
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