Adoption: Messy Bedroom Solution

Poor Nemo he didn't think I was serious when I said "You don't want me to clean your room". We adopted him 1 1/2 years ago and I have been putting off doing this for some time. I am not sure what Joshua was thinking because he has had this done several times in his life time.  Their room has been trashed for several months now.  I do believe because of all their "stuff" it became overwhelming to clean.  They didn't know what to do with it all.  Plus Christmas is around the corner and I declutter before adding even more toys. Today was THE day.

My husband informed me that he was taking the boys fishing on Friday (today). This would be a perfect time to "clean" their room.

Here was what I was facing.

Yes -- very overwhelming even for me.  On top of everything else -- 5 minutes into cleaning I hit my nuckle really hard on the bunk bed that sent me to the floor.  Then just to make matters worse after I washed their blankets I went to hang them on the cloth line and got stung by a bee right on the arm pit!! WOWSIE!!! That hurt!

So here is the result of pushing through pain.  Now I just hope the garbage truck shows up before they do!!!!!

Blessings!

Adoption: Happy Halloween?

Brace yourself!! I get slack every single year for how I feel about Halloween.  What makes it much more difficult is when you take in children who have ALWAYS celebrated this day they almost feel like they are being mistreated because we stay far away from anything that resembles this day.  This was a fun day for them!

The two we adopted last year are actually realizing the truth and share our feelings about halloween and focus on Jesus instead.  This brings joy to my soul!! However, we now have three new children and they do not understand "what is the big deal" about this day. I know the Lord will cover what areas I fail into explaining about this day.

I know many disagree with me but that is okay.  Even my own reletives have halloween parties.  They do not celebrate satan or anything like that.  However, my family does not participate in these activities.

This year I was so EXCITED to discover on this day we will be in church!! That is the place we need to be on this day!! See what I mean how the Lord covers me? 

I found this blog that shares my feelings about Halloween.  I have many people ask me just like this writer of this blog and our answers are very simular. So I thought I would share what she wrote and it will explain alot about how I feel about halloween.

"Happy" Halloween?

Posted: 25 Sep 2012 09:11 PM PDT

My birthday happens to be on October 31st - yes, Halloween night.  As a result, I have had a long history progressing from celebrating Halloween as a child for my birthday parties, to not celebrating it at all with our children now.  And people seem to assume that because I was born on that day I therefore must know a lot about Halloween, and they always ask me questions about it.  *chuckle*  So as a result I have tried to educate myself over the years to be able to use my birthday for Christ; to use the questions as an open door to "unmask" the truth about Halloween for those who really want to know.  

 

Here are my answers about Halloween, and what scripture says about celebrating it.  There are the short answers for those people who ask a question in passing or out of politeness, and there are the longer answers for those who seem to really desire hearing more truth about it.  *smile*  When people question me I continue answering questions as they continue prompting for more information, and they stop asking when they're "full".  *laugh* 


Answering the questions and comments...

§ "Do you celebrate Halloween?"

§ "Did you you used to have trick-or-treating birthday parties?"

§ "What changed your mind about Halloween?"

§ "It's just a fun activity; we don't 'celebrate' Halloween, we just dress-up, go trick-or-treating, and pass out candy."

§ "Don't you feel that your kids will miss out by not dressing up and going trick-or-treating?" 

§ "Do you pass out candy at the front door when trick-or-treaters come?" 

§ "We participate in a Harvest Festival that night instead."

§ What scripture says about Halloween and occultism

§ Guarding against building an appetite 

§ "What do you do then on the evening of October 31st?"

§ Surrender and blessings

§ Some valuable resources to help people learn about the truth about Halloween and the occult.

~~~~~~~~~~

Let me start by saying that most people who celebrate Halloween do not want to know what God says about it.  *chuckle*  Generally, people want to do what they want to do - and they do not want someone to shed any light on the topic.  And most people who learn that we do not celebrate Halloween immediately respond by giving me lots of reasons and justifications as to why they are convinced that it's good for them to celebrate this pagan holiday.  I just smile.  They are free to do as they choose; that is completely between them and the Lord...but if they ask me why we do not celebrate Halloween then I will share.  God's timing is perfect for each person.  When the Spirit prompts families to really seek the truth about a topic, then they will be ready to hear it and they will drink in the truth whole-heartedly.


"Do you celebrate Halloween?"
The Short answer:  No.  *smile*

The Long answer, when people ask, "Why not?" :  Because it's a celebration of death and fear and we don't celebrate that; we celebrate life. 

There is nothing Christian about this pagan holiday.  Nothing what so ever.  It is one of the two biggest satanic holidays of the entire year - recognized even by both the US Air Force, and a state prison.  Wicca (witches, pagans, and occultists) call Halloween,  "Samhain" (lord of death).  The Wiccan calendar is even orchestrated around Halloween, between October 31st and October 30th.  There are a lot of evil practices that happen on that dark night, and not just historically since the Dark Ages but today as well.  So no, we do not celebrate Halloween... But many Christians condone this "holiday" by participating in it.


"Did you used to have trick-or-treating birthday parties?"
The Short answer:  Yes, before my parents became Christians and chose to celebrate life instead of death and fear.

The Long answer:  I always had trick-or-treating birthday parties with about a dozen party guests.  We all dressed up in costumes, including my parents, and my mom made all kinds of evil-looking foods for us to eat, such as green macaroni and cheese, and adding dry ice to the apple juice so that it would "smoke" like a caldron.  My brother and I celebrated Halloween until I was about 18-years-old (and he was 15), at which time my baby sisters were 3 and 6-years-old and my parents needed to re-evaluate whether or not they ought to be trick-or-treating.  At that time my parents dug in to God's Word and realized that Halloween was actually a very dark "holiday" that Christians shouldn't participate in.  I would encourage people to ask themselves, "Would Jesus participate in Halloween?"  No?  Then should we?


"What changed your mind about Halloween?" 
The Short answer:  I've done a fair amount of studying about Halloween and the occult (satanism), through Christian books, online materials, audio messages by prominent Christian theologians, and God's Word.  The origins and current day practices were and are very dark, frightening, and clearly evil.  The more I learned, the more I desired to stay as far away from Halloween as possible. 

The Long answer :  I did a research project on the realities of the occult (satanism) and Halloween while I was attending Christian college.  I read an autobiography written by a former high priest Satanist now Christian, and studied a lot of other material.  I was shocked by what I found (see the resources I've listed below for well-documented and fascinating information on Halloween.)

The world of the occult has been permeating our society for the past 30 years, through movies, games such as Dungeons and Dragons and Ouija (pronounced, "weegie) boards, toys, and books such as Harry Potter.  It's become common place.  No big deal.  Most people really aren't shocked by it any more - and are actually convinced that it's harmless.

"It's just a fun activity.  We don't 'celebrate' Halloween, we just dress-up, go trick-or-treating, and pass out candy."
The Short answer:  Which... is celebrating Halloween.

The Long answer :  Even if we did not understand about the evil behind Halloween, there are lots of scary people out there, and Bob and I do not feel it is wise to send our children or our young people to strangers doors to ask for candy.  It's not safe to have them wandering about at night (with or without an adult).  And we do not feel it's a good to encourage our children to approach people's front doors and tell them that they should give our child a treat, or they will regret it.  *chuckle*  "Trick-or-treat".   It's good for parents to think carefully about what actions they're encouraging their children to take.
 

"Don't you feel that your kids will miss out by not dressing up and going trick-or-treating?" 
The Short answer:  No.  *smile*

The Long answer :  We don't make decisions based on whatever we want; we choose to let scripture guide our decisions.  Scripture says 'no', so we ask ourselves, "Okay then, so what are our other choices?"  And we find other fun things to do as a family.  *smile*  We don't look at it s missing out, we look it as choosing something wholesome for our family.


"Do you pass out candy when children come trick-or-treating at the front door?"
The short answer:  No. That would be condoning the celebration of Halloween.

The long answer:  Putting up decorations that display and play with death and fear on our front porch and yard, and/or encouraging other children to participate in Halloween by passing out candy at our front door when they come trick-or-treating is still also celebrating it; let's be honest.  And when those dressed-up children come to our front door our own children are then exposed to those costumes (and we've had children be frightened like that in the past).  Also parents must consider what message they would be sending if they did not allow their own children to participate in Halloween, but they passed out candy to other children who were.  We need to be consistent in what we communicate to our children as being right and good.


"We participate in a Harvest Festival that night instead."
The Short answer:  ...Which is celebrating Halloween but calling it something different. 

The Long answer :  Some may call it "All Saints Day".  But the bottom line is, if it looks like, tastes like, and smells like costumes and trick-or-treating, and it happens on or right around October 31st, then it is celebrating this pagan holiday.  We used to participate in harvest festivals at church for our first 10 years as parents.  Years ago at a church we were members of before we moved Bob and I each had jobs helping to put on the festivals.  I was the candy buyer, going out and spending $700-800 on candy from the local stores and bringing it all back to the church, and Bob was the primary photographer.  Until the Holy Spirit began showing us that we were really not staying far enough from Halloween.  And when we asked the Lord to teach us more on this, He sent some great educational materials and theologians to help us learn God's truth about it.

Many, if not most main stream churches seem to have convinced themselves that they can offer a "safe solution" for children on Halloween night by offering a Harvest Festival as an alternative to Halloween.  But really that's like saying, Halloween is okay just don't go out on the streets to do it.  Or, families are going to do it anyway, so let's just help them do it safely.  That's the same reasoning as encouraging kids to drink alcohol at home because they're going to do it elsewhere anyway so they might as well do it where they're safe at home.  What we should be teaching children is that the celebration of evil, death, and fear is wrong, that scripture condemns participation in it, and then expecting them to obey God's Word.  Again, we shouldn't teach children that we make decisions based on what we want; we should make decisions based on what God's Word says we should and should not do.  It's not like scripture is silent on the subject of Halloween...


What scripture says about Halloween and occultism  (emphasis mine)

"Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.  And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.  But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.  For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, which is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.  Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.  Therefore do not be partakers with them.  For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them."  ~ Ephesians 5:1-11

"Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."  ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22

"Rather, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice they sacrifice to demons and not to God, and I do not want you to have fellowship with demons.  You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the Lord's table and of the table of demons."  ~ 1 Corinthians 10:20-21

"[do not] give place to the devil."  ~ Ephesians 4:27

"Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons."  ~ 1 Timothy 4:1

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"  ~ Isaiah 5:20

"Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good."  ~ Romans 12:9

 "Seek good and not evil, that you may live; So the Lord God of hosts will be with you..."  ~ Amos 5:14

It may be tempting for people to think these words too strong for being applicable to playing with Halloween, but from what we've been taught, and from what we've learned and have read through out God's Word - we need to take evil serious.   It's not a joke.  It's not something to be played with.  Satan would like nothing more than for people to believe that just compromising a little bit won't hurt anything...that just a little fun in the dark won't lead to anything...that the children will be just fine...

"Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, 'Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden'?...Then the serpent said to the woman, 'You will not surely die.'"  ~ Genesis 3:1, 4

I heard a great quote once about playing around with sin:

"Sin will take you farther than you intended to stray,
keep you longer than you intended to stay,
and cost you more than you ever intended to pay."  (author unknown)

I encourage parents to consider, is it really worth it, playing around with this occultic holiday?


Building an appetite 
It is always wise to consider before deciding to participate in anything whether or not that activity could form too great of an appetite, a desire for more and more, and which would then lead to bad fruit.  Halloween did this to me, and to all my other friends growing up. 

My friends and I started with simple trick-or-treating, dressing up and decorating with evil and darkness...and this was no big deal and became common place.  Then as a young adult enjoying haunted houses, enjoying the thrill of fear, and of playing in the dark (where all kinds of bad things are born).  As we got a little older we then desired to practice more of what we participated in at night, so we did pranks on other people's houses, covering their yard and home with toilet paper that then gets wet with dew and pretty much cannot be removed then by the home owner, and other such "tricks" which we thought were so sly and clever...and we enjoyed playing with evil and harm.  I had friends get in to the dangerous Dungeons and Dragons game.  Others who introduced me to Ouija (pronounced weegie) boards, which dabble in communing with evil spirits.  Then there was a fascination with fortune telling and tellers (which are at the fair grounds here in our town, and at several locations around town as well - easily accessible).  Of course there was the thrill of horror movies, again the thrill of fear, evil, death...but now with images that are in one's head forever.  And now that I'm a parent, the several horror movies I did see were returning to haunt my dreams about our children and loved ones... And all of these things lure kids in to the occult.

People may be fooled in to thinking, Well, I would never let our child get so involved.  But those same parents are willing to introduce the darkness of Halloween when the child is little.  Should we say, Well, we just played around with that a little bit but now we should stop?  The child then asks, Why should I stop?  I like it.  I would encourage parents to think ahead to what they are choosing to introduce and communicate to their children.


"What DO you do then on the evening of October 31st?" 
We choose to turn off the front porch light by our front door so as to not look inviting to trick-or-treaters, and to avoid having children come to our door only to have us ignore their knocks, or to open the door but have to tell them that we don't have any candy for them...over, and over, and over again.  If we encourage costumed children to come to the front door then our children have to be exposed to those frightening costumes, and we would be giving a mixed message to our children that we will support others celebrating Halloween but we will not do so ourselves.  That can cause children to feel angry, and eventually to rebel.  We choose to not have any part in Halloween at all. 

We celebrate my birthday that day with the children instead.  We decorate our house for a birthday celebration, watch a movie as a family, maybe play a game, make home made popcorn and snuggle in the family room.  But even if we didn't have a birthday to celebrate that day, we'd still do all those fun activities (minus the birthday decorations of course) just like we do so many other days of the year.  *smile*

We have learned that we can't easily go out of the house on Halloween night because there are horrific costumes everywhere we could go:  to the mall for a sweet treat and to play in the children's play area; to a store (even the grocery store); to any other children's play areas; even walking down the side walks.  So we just stay home and enjoy ourselves as a family.  Sometimes we go somewhere to celebrate my birthday the weekend before my birthday instead.


Surrender and blessings
The world would tell us that we are missing out or greatly sacrificing by not celebrating Halloween.  That what we receive by not participating with Halloween is only loss.  But this is a lie from the enemy of our souls, and from the world. 

The truth is we receive great blessing in protecting our children's minds, hearts, and emotions as the Lord calls us to.  *smile*  By protecting them from evil influences their minds are not compromised, their hearts not tempted toward darkness, and their emotions are not fearful or worried when they are young.  We practice "green housing" the children so that they, as new sprouts and saplings, can obtain strong roots and a healthy beginning so that when they are transplanted in to the world they will be able to withstand the storms, the disease, and that which will seek to destroy them.  They will have a strong foundation in Christ, they will know The Way of truth and life and how to walk in it, and be able to lead others to Christ and eternal life with Him, too.  It is good to teach our children the principle that we do not do whatever we want in life, or whatever is easiest or most popular, but rather what God directs us to (and from) in His Word. 


Some valuable resources to help people learn about the truth about Halloween and the occult.

I have found some really excellent resources to help people become aware of the dark side of Halloween and how prevalent it is in society today.  I encourage people to learn as much as they can, to make safe and scriptural decisions for their families, and to have an answer ready for their choices when people ask.

§  The Occult Explosion - an excellent audio message by Dr. Ron Carlson, founder of Christian Ministries International, and a world renowned speaker and teacher since 1975 (listen to a FREE 10 minute sample, and purchase the entire message for $6)

§ Halloween's Occultic Connection - David L. Brown of BelieversWeb has researched this topic for more than a decade. This 8 page article is an excellent, well-documented, thorough description of Halloween.

§ What Witches, Satanists and Other Occultists Say About Halloween, by Logos Research Pages

§ Should Christians Celebrate Halloween? (a blog post and book by a former witch and satanic high priest, now Christian)

So.  *smile*  I would encourage you to consider carefully how you will spend October 31st this year, and to come up with a wholesome family plan that will be pleasing to the Lord.  And if you have children's costumes from past Halloween celebrations that are wholesome, you could add those to the dress up box at home and let the kids enjoy them all year long instead.  There's nothing wrong with the costumes themselves; it's what people choose to do with the costumes that can be the problem.

Blessings on your family as you choose what to do on October 31st this year.  It's an important decision, and I've been praying for you.

Adoption: To Love Or Not To Love

Someone asked me the other day what I feel when someone asks me how many children I have and I reply with "9".  It made me stop and think because the funny thing is I have been pondering this thought myself. 

The word that comes to my head is "proud" however that is not the word I am looking for.  I am not
"proud" that I have 9 children.  I guess the feeling that I have is "full" or "content".  I am "satisfied".  I love my life.  The Lord has blessed me richly.

I think getting away for a couple days really made me realize how much I do love ALL of my little blessings. 

I have really seen a change in my 10 year old son over the past month.  This adoption has not been easy on him by any means.  For awhile he cringed every time one of the little girls wanted to give him a hug or a kiss on the cheek.  He still has the view of girls having cooties.  Not that the little ones have cooties but the only one who could give him a kiss on the cheek is his mommy.  Yes -- ME! As much as I love this I thought it was important that he makes sure he shows these little ones that he loves them like a brother loves his sister.  I brought up that for a long time now his feelings get so hurt when his older brother won't hug him or show affection to him.  Joshua is a very lovable boy.  To him he feels rejected when he is pushed away.  Since that talk with Joshua he has been such a loving brother to these little girls.  They go up to him and give him the biggest hugs and he hugs them right back just as big as what they gave him.  Every night they want to give Joshua and hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Joshua gives each one a kiss on the cheek and he tells them that he loves them.  My heart turns to mush when I see this.

He asked me the other day if he can wait for the bus by himself when little K gets off.  He said that he wants them to know that he cares for them and that he loves them so much.  He said that he remembers how bad it hurt not to be hugged my his older siblings and he does not want them to feel that way. 

He did ask me "what happens if they do go back to their real mom and dad?"  I explained to him that that is always a risk until this whole thing is final and it could very well happen.  The thing we have to remember is that we are teaching them how to love one another and we love them completely regardless of where they will be in 5 years.  Our job is to share the love of Jesus and prepare them the best we can with what time we have with them -- all the while praying like crazy that God will preform a miracle and have them be with us forever.  Josh told me that when he gets older he would love adopt one day.  I love this boy!!


I have heard people who do foster care state don't get attached to the children that you have in your home because when it comes time for them to leave you will be heart broken.  Well all I have to say to that is that is a bunch of garbage.  These children need to be loved COMPLETELY!! If I get hurt -- I get hurt.  These kids can tell if you treat them differently from your biological children and they do want to be part of you.  So my advise to you is to give them the best gift you can and love them to pieces while you have them.  That might be the only true love they experience.

Adoption: Court

On Wednesday was the court date.  I was so nervous because as of right now the plan for our children is to return to parent.  One parent is on the run and other parent is some what doing what he is suppose to.  I am not so worried about the mom in this situation because she has not changed and the judge could see that just for the fact she was not there.

Miss J has written a letter to read at court.  She put a lot of thought into this letter.  The judge asked her if she had anything to say.  She said yes that she would like to read the letter.  She made it through the first word and broke down crying.  She managed to get herself together and read it.  It was amazing.  She did not read this letter to me before sharing it with the Judge.  I was in awe!! She was respectful and same off very intelligent.  She pleaded with the judge not to separate her from her sisters.  The dad (who was there) is trying to separate them.  Almost immediately I started to cry once I heard her break. It was ripping my heart out!

I could see compassion in the Judges eyes.  The Judge told everyone that she is not in favor of separating them.  She then turned to the dad and said very bluntly that he is doing a horrible job and getting his kids back.  The attorney said very harshly "I am giving you 90 days to clear up your warrants". This requires a lot of money.  She gave him a long list of things to complete withing the 90 days.  The list includes things that he should have done in the past but never did so now the list is quite long and pretty much unrealistic.  After the 90 days she said if there is so much of a "T" that is not crossed she is going to move the case to permanency for the purpose of adoption.

Today was visitation with him and two little ones.  He called and cancelled the meeting.  He gave an excuse that didn't really fly with me and I hoping the state can see through it too.  The judge was really hard on him and confronting him for dragging his feet to get his act together.  I can see that this is just the beginning of him fazing out of the picture.

I have to brag on my husband for a moment.  My hubby made it possibly for me to get away on a three day women's retreat in Bandon Oregon.  I was able to go with my mom and two sisters.  I really couldn't believe it was happening and it took a lot for me not to feel guilty for going.  I will say that the time away really made me acknowledge that I love everyone of my children and I really couldn't wait to get back but also to enjoy the time I had there.  I know it won't happen a lot so I did my best to enjoy the time away.

While we were there one of the ladies who were given the retreat wanted to the person to stand up with the most children.  Guess what?  That was ME!! She knew the answer to this question already but she asked "Sheri tell everyone how many children you have".  I said "9 children!" Everyone cheered for me in the room.  I was so proud of every single one of my babies and it made me miss them even more.  She handed me a scarf that a lady had made as a gift for some women.  I loved it!!

Pulling into the drive way my hubby met me in the parking lot.  I love this man so much!! He was happy and glad I was home.  I can also tell that his bonds with the children had grown too.  I know he loves the children but he works everyday outside the home and is home a lot less than me because of his work.  I could tell that while I was gone the Lord was doing a work at the house too.  All the children greeted me at the door for hugs and kisses.  I picked all of them up a present while I was at the coast.  Soon after that we all loaded up the van and headed out to Hometown Buffet.

I know that I know that these will be my permanent babies one day.  On that day you will see tears of joy streaming down my face.  So mark your calenders for a celebration in the future.  The Lord has made it clear he is in this with us all the way!!

Blessings!

Adoption: Adjustments And Bonding Are A Success!

When looking back on when we first got these new children and look to where we are now I know the Lord is directing my steps every step of the way.  Miss J has been with us for a month now.  She is a beautiful girl with so much potential.  She brings her own flavor to the house.  I love having her here.  She is trying to call me mom.  Most of the time she calls me "mommy".  I think it makes it just a little easier to get use to the idea.  I know it must be hard and I let her know that it is not a requirement.  She can call me Sheri if she would like.

 

Today at church we saw her old counselor from Kiros.  Jade walked up and gave her a big hug.  The funny thing is my girls were over at their cousins house and they had on these little house on the prairie dresses.  They made aprons and bonnets for them.  They decided to be silly and where these dresses to church that Sunday.  This was the day her counselor decided to be at our church.  Miss J was grinning from ear to ear.  I wonder what was going through her mind.

 

The two little girls are realizing that Miss J is not their mom.  They do love their big sister and Miss J has had to be their mom for most of their life.  Miss J lets me be their mom and realizes that she is their big sister so there is not a power struggle going on.  Sometimes I feel bad when the little one gets hurt and they run past her to get to me to make their owie better.  I think it is times like these that she realizes that I am the mom.  I can sense there is not bitterness or attitude but just acknowledgement.  She has expressed that she is so happy that she can act 13 and does not have to worry about her sisters well being any more.

 

So every day we are just keep our heads up and leaning on the Lord every step of the way.  Please keep us in prayers.  On the 12th of September is a court date.  I know Miss J is very nervous about it.  For this involves possibly loosing her sisters.  Things tend to always be looked out negatively due to the history of their case.  For me I have been lifting this up in prayer for a few months now.  I have faith that these kids will be ours sooner or later.  It does concern me that through the process of getting there the psychological damage that this case is causing them is not good.

 

Just in few month that I have been doing foster care it is very evident in this case how the state is for the parents and not the children.  The fact of how long these kids have been in the system and how many times they have been removed is only evident.  Miss J has written a 6 page letter to the courts and is going to read it.  It tells her mom how she feels and how she feels about the little girls' dad.  She has witnessed a lot of abuse at the hands of these two people who the courts are still giving chances to.  It is heart breaking!

 

Thanks you for prayers!!! Boy do we need them!! I will be sure to post an update after the court hearing on the 12th.

 

Blessings,

Sheri

 

Adoption: Homemade Laundry Detergent --- cheap!!

I have been using my own laundry detergent that I made for about a week now and I am so happy!!! When each week you do at least 16 loads of laundry it helps out money wise!! Heres the ingredients.

 2 gallons of hot water
1 bar of soap (grated and any kind you have on hand)
2 cups of baking soda

...

Melt grated soad in a saucepan with enough water to cover. Cook on medium heat, sirring frequently until melted.

In a large pail or bucket, pour 2 gallons of hot water. Add melted mixture, stir well.

Add the baking soda, stir well.

Use 1/2 per full load, 1 cup per very soiled loads.

Enjoy!!!

Adoption: Meal Time

One of the things that I really need to work on among many.....is meal time.  I usually go looking through my cubboard and try to figure out what I am going to make either the night before or that day.  I need to be more organized when it comes to my meals.  I want a schedule that I can alternate either every two weeks or once a month.  Maybe you can help me out.. What are somethings that you do?

Usually for breakfast I fix the little girls cereal or toast (which ever they request) the big kids they fix it themselves.  I always make their lunch and dinners.  The other day I was in need of grocery shopping but this is what I came up with at the last minute on what to fix for lunch. 

Here are a couple of pictures.  So some of them wanted quesadillas, hotdogs, chips and cookies.

The start of the esembly line with my love notes on each plate.

I don't do this every time but they get a kick out of what I put on their plate each time.

 

 

One of the plates.



Quesadillas ready for the mircrowave

 Hotdogs ready for the microwave

 Lunch Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

One of the plates.

So now it is your turn.  What do you cook for your meals.  I need your help!!! Blessings to you my readers!!

Adoption: Respite Care - Another One Added

Before I start my many words I want to give all our success and happiness to Jesus because he has been so faithful to answer our prayers.  It has been 3 weeks since Miss J has been with us.  It has been going GREAT.  I need to capture this moment because I know it wont always be like this.  

I am not a negative person by any means I am just saying that because with foster and children who are adopted there is about a 2 month honeymoon period.  Once that is over the kids let their hair down and start to live how they were before coming to your home.  This could be a quick period of time or a slow one depending on the child.  Then you get in a groove that is just everyday life and they start blending in and figuring out what is expected.  Addressing behaviors as they happen day in and day out.

With Miss J we are still in the honeymoon period.  Even though I know this behavior won't last forever I can still see what an amazing person she is.  Every time we get into a discussion about how she is feeling or different things that is on her plate she quotes me a scripture or maybe a piece of a sermon that we most recently heard at church.  She told me that Jesus is her therapist.  Before she came home I was praying and I felt such a peace of getting her home so she could attend church with us.  I knew that would be apart of her healing --if she received it.  Well Praise the Lord!! She received it!!

Yesterday they had volleyball tryouts.  Neither one of the girls made it.  This was hard for Miss J to accept because she loves it and played it during her junior high years.  She was very sad and quiet in the car.  The first thing she did when she got in the car was reach down and open the bible and put it on her lap.  She started reading. 

We took in another boy just for a few days.  He is a great boy.  It is so sad to see how parents can mess up a little ones life.  There were a few issues here and there but that is okay.  I pray that through his journey in life that he will be able to sort out right from wrong and be an great influence on others that have been though a simular circumstances.

I do love having a full house! I am not sure why but its true.  My husband..............well I don't think it his favorite thing but as long as I am doing my part he seems to have a smile on his face most of the time.

That is it for now.

 

 

 

 

 

Adoption: Update as of 8/13/2012

It has been awhile since I have posted.  I thought I might bring everyone up to speed on what is happening in the Bowers home. I am not sure where to start.

Clay just left yesterday to spend another week in Mexico at the mission.  This place has captured his heart many years ago.  He is 18 years old and has actively been involved with it since he was 15.  Miss J told me tonight that she would love to go to the mission.  I told her that all the orphans there are disabled and she might be required to change diapers of a much older person.  She didn't care.  She said that she thinks that she would really enjoy it and wants to help others.  I am excited to see where the Lord will lead her. I believe that the beginning of September Clay will be headed down to California.  He got a job at a church in Modesto California as a youth pastor.  He is really excited.  The thing is, if you know Clay those plans change at any moment.  That what I know at this moment.

This will be the first year in many years that my children will be attending a public school.  This is very scary for me however, I know the Lord will cover my sweet children as they continue on their journey.  Alicia and Miss J will be attending South Medford High School.  They have been having volleyball camp all week and tomorrow they start a conditioning camp.  The week of the 20th they will have tryouts.  I hope they both make it but there is a very good chance that one will make it and the other won't.  But we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Nemo and Joshua will be doing Connections Academy.  We are setting up our work stations and getting everything ready to start.  They are both really excited.  I wonder how long that excitement will really last.  I will post pictures as we get closer to starting.

I am still wondering about Little K (5 1/2 yrs old) where she will go.  She is not potty trained and I feel there is a big problem there.  She either needs to go to kindergarten or she needs to go to Head Start (says DHS).  We have an appointment on Wednesday to have her evaluated.  I have a feeling there is psychological damage is the reason for her potty training issues.  She has been in foster care her whole life and removed from a bad foster home before coming to our home.  I am praying my way through as to what direction we need to go.  

Little M (4 yrs old) will go to Head Start.  There are not the issues with her that we have with Little K.  I believe she will be okay but I am still so nervous putting my precious babies on the bus.  Thankfully she will only be gone for 1/2 day.

I decided to have family movie night on Friday or Saturday night.  Not sure which one but one of these days will be our day depending on our schedule. We are going to watch the whole series of Little House On The Prairie.  Two shows at a time with pop corn and all the fixings! Miss J has never heard of it but she has put up a struggle on not wanting to watch it.  All other kids really want to watch it but not her.  I think I am going to insist on her watching it with the family.  We watched the Pilot Little House last night.  It was funny because all the way through it she kept saying -- Oh my gosh -- Ma and Pa are just like you and dad!"  I about choked on my tongue.  No pressure I thought!  I would like to be like Ma and would love my hubby to be like Pa but we live real life!  

Her idea of marriage is her husband serving her hand and foot.  She wants to find someone who loves to cook because she does not know how so he needs to cook for her.  I told her that one day she is going to find that man she wants to spend the rest of her life with and she is going to want to take care of him.  She is going to want to fix those meals he loves, she is going to want to treat him like a treasure and love him completely.  She looks at me like I am some foreign thing.........it is a concept that she has never heard before.  She is use to the fighting, arguing, drinking, drug environment.  My role as a mom and wife has never been so important or impacting right now.  Lord please help me teach her at her young age what being a wife means and what being a mom means.

Alicia is doing well.  I was wondering how all this was going to work.  She is 14 years old and I was wondering about the relationship of Miss J and her.  I was wondering if Alicia would not stand for her beliefs when we got a new child in the home.  Alicia has surprised me.  Alicia has stood her ground and has been a good influence on Miss J.  She is always quoting scripture and reading her bible.  She still has her faults but she is not caving into other behaviors of what I thought we were going to have to deal with.  She has started counseling and is doing so good.

Nemo .........oh Nemo--- He is one of the hardest kids we have.  He is equivalent to 5 kids on his own.  Good thing I love this boy!  He is a boundary hugger and very determined to do his own thing regardless of what the rules are.  He is aggressive when he is out of our sight and he is a manipulator.  He also cannot tell the truth to save his life.  I told him to think of a role model that he looks up to that he wants to be like one day.  He looked right at Joshua and pointed at him.  Joshua's jaw dropped to the floor.  Joshua being 10 and Nemo being 13 -- Josh did not expect this.  He said because Joshua never lies and he is sweet and kind.  We have only 5 short years to break him of his ways that could get him in real trouble when he is old enough to move out.  Lord help me lead this boy!!!

Joshua -- He is doing great!! By adopting these kids he has found his voice inside to state what he likes and his dislikes.  He always has a buddy to play with.  Even though Nemo has trouble being kind to him on most days -- the problems are dealt with and they walk away friends and best buddies.  Some days Joshua is glad we adopted but there are the other days when he thinks otherwise.  He does remember when he was the only kid in the house and he remembers those days as very lonely.  He has grown up quit a bit.

Another celebration for me is that I have been invited join a group of ladies in a adoption support group.  It is a group of Christian ladies where we can actually pray for our kids!!! Imagine that.  I attend a support group that is through the state of Oregon but do you think prayer or God for that matter is apart of the group?  Far from it!! I do attend it and glean a lot from it but I cannot express to you how excited I am for this new group! We get together at 7pm and visit till midnight!! I feel like a giddy little school girl! I get to visit with adults!

To think not even a year ago I was working full time.  I am so happy the Lord knows what he is doing.  There is no way I could work out of the home and do this.  I so cherish where I am at these days!!

Well I think that is all folks! I am sure there is more but at the time -- I can't think of anything else.  I am keeping on loving my kids, loving our Lord and knowing that no matter what is happening in my day the Lord is so much bigger!  

Pressing On,

Sheri

Adoption: So Many Things.......

I found this that I just wanted to share with all of you.  I can't tell you how much this fits me to a "T".  If your a busy mom I am sure you can relate.

Although I don't think it talks about going into a room and forgetting what thought brought her in there. 

Enjoy--
Sheri

Adoption: Another Memorable Moment

I know I post alot of my frustrations but I also have tons and tons of moments that I know will be here today and gone tomorrow.  So I wanted to share with you a small moment that happened this morning.

What is a mom to do? Little M (4 years old) woke up two times last night. Once at 2:00am and then at 5:00am. Then I can hear her door open at 6:45am. Trying to keep calm but still so selfish of my morning time she comes down the hallway with a big smile on her face, her deep dimples pressed into her cute little cheeks and waves at me like shes in some kind of parade and says "Hi Honey!!!" It was all over from there.

Adoption: Could This Really Be True?

My mind is in a whirlwind! I have been awake since 4:00am marveling at how the Lord has taken our situation and personally handled it.  I am in awe! Have you been in a situation that you just know this is so right? If you were to do it again would you pick the same path that you chose from the millions of choices that are out there?  Well that is me (us) to a "T".  Yes I would pick the same path.

Many of you have heard this before but I must take you back a little over a year ago.  So hang in there as I remind myself of the work our God has done for me and my family! Every time I tell this story it is so clear the Lord is in this 100%! I not only tell this to fill you in I need to keep reminding myself of the miracles that the Lord is preforming in our own lives.

So -- after we finished our classes and just after starting our homestudy I found 5 children that I would love to have (I told you that story in the last post).  Well the Lord was going to give me five children but in another route different than what I had planned.  He knew it was going to be a big job so he split it up into breaking me in easy.  So he gave us two children in April of 2011. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE in the foster and adoption world was telling me it is long drawn out process.  All the while I knew God could preform miracles.  That adoption was finalized in January 6, 2012. Our adoption worker was shocked!! She kept saying "I don't know what it is about your family but this holds the record".  Well I told her we have faith that if the Lord wants this for us it will be easy and he will clear the way. 

Anyway-- So then after that adoption was final we decide on to adopt more.  The Lord brought the second batch to us.  Three girls!! This group made it very clear to me why I do this! These kids needed so bad a stable home.  They had been through 2 bad foster homes.  To think that all these kids ages 4,5 and 13 have basically been moved here and there their whole life just breaks my heart! and if I were to tell you just how great these kids are -- you wouldn't believe me! These kids openly tell me how much they wanted a "good" mommy.  Am I in this for me? Am I in this for them?  Going into this I did this for them but I believe the Lord gives back so much more than what you give out.  Oh my heart is full and overflowing.

Okay so now the kids have been with us for a little over 2 months.  The plan for these children right now is return to parent.  The adoption world is telling me that this will be one of the longest cases they have handled.  It probably will go on for another 2 years or so. They told me that Miss J would not want to be adopted but would want to stay with her sisters (which that was okay with us) and blah blah blah!  Didn't they know God was much bigger than this situation?

Yesterday the case worker met with the little girls dad about his parental rights and asked if he is ready for all this.  In November they are expecting twins.  He seemed very overwhelmed.  He said that he would like to talk with me about signing the children over to us.  My heart went straight to my throat!! Regardless of what mistakes someone has done in their life I cannot imagine being in his position making that call.  He wants it to be an open adoption where he would be able to see them periodically.  I told me him that we feel it is very important for these girls to know who their bio dad is and to have visitation still in place.  Not as often but they still need to happen. Anyway-- so -- That will happen in a matter of days now.  And.....Miss J told me that she does want to be adopted.  She said she is very sure and that she is not going to change her mind on that. All of these are mountains and walls and unmovable situations that God moved out of our way with a snap of a finger.

Another HUGE victory is..................When a child is placed with you for foster care, if the kids become legally free they have to be with you 1 year before you can be the only one who they will consider for adoption.  That is unless there is no family member out there that is interested. This is very cut and dry.  It is their policy and there is nothing you can do about it.  The case worker needs to advertise these children on the website to see who else is out there that would be willing to take them in.  Wednesday I got the word that the supervisor told our case worker she wants to put a special execption that we would be their only option of placement!! The case worker didn't think they could do that but the supervisor said this is what they are doing and the kids are staying where they are at.  The case worker is not to recruit for another home for these kids. 

I can see so clearly how there are walls and mountains and a process of how things are done and the Lord is making the way for us! He is parting the Red Sea!

The Lord knew that for me taking on 5 new kids all at once would have been to big.  You couldn't tell me then but now that we have done this -- for me it would have been huge!  I am so happy that I have a loving savior who is looking out for "ME".  I can't believe I really matter to him but I do and he loves me! and he loves these precious kids too.

Please keep praying!! It is working!!

Leave me comments at the bottom of this post.  Click on "# comments" and it will provide a place to write something.  I am curious as to what your thinking and tell me about you!

Adoption: Another BIG Day In The Bowers Home

I am asking friends and family to please pray for us today!! I cannot give details however it is regarding these new children. This day could be the day that could change all of our lives FOREVER!!

I am trying to keep you updated as we go along.  Today it involves parental rights and whether these kids will be come legally free for adoption. Just another step in this long journey but every step is crucial to how this story will end. 

Yesterday was Wednesday and one of our church nights.  Both little girls are sick so I stayed home.  In away I was hoping the Miss J would stay home and keep me company but thought that was very selfish of me.  I was thinking this was an opportunity for us to talk alone while everyone else gone.  My husband looked and Miss J and asked "would you like to stay here or go to church"?  She looked at him and said "Church?"  Oops I guess we kinda messed up and didn't let her know we go to church every Wednesday.  She replied with "I'll stay here I guess".  I was shocked that my hubby read my mind.  She stayed at the house with me and we talked for the entire time they were gone to church!  I loved it!!

I will say this girl is a trooper.  She has been through so much but yet she is still is only 13 years old but still she is a beautiful person inside and out! I told her we are honored that she wants to stay with us.  She has so much potential and will go so far in her life.  I am praising the Lord that I will be able to watch her as she blossoms into a beautiful flower.

Ya know, going into foster care and adoption my worst fear was getting a rebllious teenager that we cannot control.  The Lord has spared us in both of our adoption and foster care experience.

 As our story unfolds I hope that you all will stay tuned and enjoy these beautiful lives with me. As I write it is almost like a journal for me to remember back to the first days we got them. 

Are any of you in the process of adoption or foster care? Let me know.

Adoption: Miss J is Home!!!!

Things have been going great in the Bowers home these days.  It is not perfect but I feel like the kids are becoming more under control or should I say I am able to keep control over myself better which make disciplining my children so much better which means better results.

We now have Miss J with us permanently for foster care.  For this I am so happy and praising Jesus for.  The more time I spend time with her and get to know her I am so happy she is here.  I pray against anything that satan may have a stronghold on.  There is so much that needs to happen in order for our adoption process to begin however things are moving in the right direction.  The homestudy in California which is a relative has been denied.  Whew!!! There not more relatives out there who can sneak up on us out of no where.  One more step that is out of the way.

It is amazing to think back on when we were first going into this journey.  My vision was to adopt 5 children.  Everyone thought I was crazy but that is okay.  I had the 5 all picked out and was praying and praying.  Our homestudy was very far from being done when I found them.  By the times we could have new kids those 5 had already found a placement.  Praise the Lord they were able to stay together. I can see now the Lord did not want us to have them.  He had other children in mind.

We got the call for our two kids that we adopted last year.  Then once that was final we got the call for these three children for an immediate placement. I now have my 5 children that I wanted and the Lord wanted us to have.  The Lord does give us the desires of our hearts.

Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalms 37:4

The day Miss J came home to stay with us permanently, Nick Vujicic was at the Expo.  If you haven't heard of him you must see him.  Here is one of his links. www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4. Anyway all of my children including Miss J rededicated their lives to Christ that night.  I do not think it was coincidence that Nick was speaking this very night Miss J came home.  I believe it was a devine appointment!  What a blessing that was!!

I also wanted to share something Miss J (13 yrs old) and Alicia (14 yrs old) posted in their room last night.  I thought this was so funny I had to take pictures!!

Here are the rules posted in their room.  All the other kids want to come in and mess it up so they decided to post laws that needed to be inforced.

Here is their "law talk" telling them the consequences for their behavior!

Blessisngs my dear readers!!!

Sheri